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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24177016">"There's no saying goodbye to me."</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffiend/pseuds/Caffiend'>Caffiend</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Steve Rogers Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. References, Arson, Coercion, Dark Avengers - Freeform, Dark!Bucky, Dark!Steve, Excessive Profanity, F/M, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Lovers to enemies to lovers, Possible NonCon, Stalking, Time Travel, dubcon, emotional betrayal, getting Dusted doesn't bring you back the same way., jilted lovers, mild bondage, the snap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:53:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24177016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffiend/pseuds/Caffiend</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Steve Rogers has a fiancee standing there with a smile when he takes the Infinity Stones back in time. He'd told you that he'd be right back. It only takes a minute, after all. Until you realize he's not coming back. Not when Peggy's waiting for him in the past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>226</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for @sherrybaby14's prompt challenge on Tumblr. My prompt was: "Steve Rogers left you for another woman and then comes back. You won’t forgive him, but he won’t give up until you have."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“You just trust <em>everyone</em>, don’t you?”<br/>
Your mother always told you that, growing up. She didn’t mean it as a compliment.<br/>
Granted, she wasn’t completely wrong. You’d rather be surprised and disappointed when someone turned out to be an unscrupulous asshole, rather than triumphant and all, “I knew it! Didn’t you know it? They’re an unscrupulous asshole!”<br/>
It seemed like a paranoid, lonely way to live.</p><p>At least, that was your stance until you stood in the little grassy clearing by Tony Stark’s palatial cabin and watched your Steve climb on to the platform, holding the case with the last of the Infinity Stones.</p><p>Last night when he’d told you that he’d be the one tasked with returning those cursed stones to their proper place in time, you’d protested. For the first time, you protested and said the words, “Can’t someone else do it?” And then his patriotic blue eyes held such disappointment in you - the flush of shame almost rendered you speechless but you pushed on. “I know it sounds selfish, and I’m sorry. But honey, you’ve done all the heavy lifting. If this is such a simple procedure, can’t one of the others handle it? Please?”</p><p>"Doll… you’ve got nothing to worry about. This is nothing compared to-”</p><p>You never interrupted Steve Freaking Rogers, Saviour of the Universe, but you did this time. "I have the worst feeling about this, Stevie. It feels wrong."</p><p>His laughter was loud, surprisingly harsh. “What, are you psychic now?”</p><p>You flushed. Steve was harder now since he’d come back from all the time travel, from that final battle against Thanos and his psycho shock troops. But he’d sent the few survivors back to whatever inter-dimensional toilet the Titan had plucked them from. The world rejoiced. The Avengers were Gods to the Nine Realms. And your boyfriend - such an old-fashioned word, but he’d liked it - stopped your protests by putting his mouth over yours, and then his cock. He made sure your mouth was too full to say anything else. </p><p>So here you were, standing next to Pepper and Sam, while Bucky gave his best friend some sort of manly bro hug. It was as his gaze moved from Steve’s face to yours that you saw the guilt. And you just knew. Steve wasn’t coming back, that heartless son of a bitch.</p><p>Maybe you <em>were</em> psychic.</p><p> </p><p>“Doll, don’t be mad at him, please. Peggy was his first love, and seeing her again when he was getting the Stones-”</p><p>“Bucky, for fuck sakes, just- just stop this shit, okay?” He drew back a bit, surprised at the profanity. </p><p>You’d always been such a good girl, with what Steve called “Nice, old-fashioned manners.” It was one of the things that drew him to you in the beginning. Captain America was positively reverent when he’d taken your virginity a year ago after a suitable period of courtship...</p><p> </p><p>_________________</p><p> </p><p>...Steve had wanted to take you out for a fancy dinner, but you knew those chichi restaurants got on his nerves, made him uncomfortable. And there was always someone. Someone who would walk up to the two of you, crying, talking about someone they lost in the Snap. Steve would freeze up and you’d try to comfort them, knowing the date was over. Or the person would be angry, foolishly leaning in close to Steve shouting and furious, blaming him for loved ones lost. You would be even angrier. How fucking dare they blame Steve? He’d done everything, <em>everything</em> for these ungrateful idiots. Thanos had nearly beaten him to death and what the physical injuries didn’t destroy in him the loss of his friends did. Holding Bucky as he turned to dust in his arms? By the time you’d met him, he was a shell. Numbly holding support groups at the Veteran’s Center and running endless miles through the littered and half-empty streets of New York City.</p><p>So, no, thank you very much. No fancy restaurant. You made him his favorite meal: steak and scalloped potatoes, and asparagus since he wasn’t a fan of salad.</p><p>“Thank you doll, this looks great,” Steve smiled up at you warmly, and your fork paused over your first bite of steak as you took a minute to stare at his mouth. His perfectly-shaped mouth. When he winked at you, you hurriedly took a gulp of your wine. “Um, thanks. It’s nice to have a night to ourselves.” Even while you talked about the latest molecular research you were working on in Dr. Banner’s lab, and he discussed his concerns about two of his support group members, you both knew how the night was ending. So after the chocolate brownie smothered in ice cream you’d made for dessert, Steve helped you stack the plates in the dishwasher and then took your hand, pulling you to him for a lingering kiss and then to your bedroom. </p><p>Standing shyly in front of your bed, you wondered if the new sheets and extra pillows made it all too obvious, but he gave you another sweet kiss and then abruptly tossed you onto the mattress, sending the pillows flying and making you laugh. Sliding your hands through his thick blond hair while he deftly pulled off your dress, you fastened your lips onto his neck, gently biting the tendon there as his mouth landed on your breasts. His hands were big and calloused, but Steve was still exquisitely gentle with you. It was one of the things you loved about him, how he knew his strength and how careful he was with you. Sometimes, almost too careful but that was better than say, a dislocated shoulder or something, right?</p><p>“So pretty…” he mused, head raised over your breasts and squeezing one, then the other as if deciding which one he liked best. Apparently both, because he dove back in with lips and teeth on your nipples, making you squeal. Steve had definitely picked up some moves in the 21st century because he removed your bra with one hand and your undies with another. His mouth was making a wet path down your stomach and as he slipped his hands between your thighs, pulling them apart, you stiffened, a little embarrassed and trying to close them again. His eyes were a darker shade, navy blue as they rose to your red face. "Oh, no, sweetheart." His voice was deeper, thicker somehow and that Brooklyn cadence came out. "You don't gotta hide from me. I'm going have my mouth on every inch of you, but I'm starting-" his hands easily spread you wide and his stubble chin was rubbing over your wet center, “-right here.” His mouth was so hot! It was all you could think as you wondered if maybe you were pulling his hair too hard and maybe you should-</p><p>“Oh! Oh, my god, Steve that is so-” That was orgasm number one. Well, with another person anyway. And was joined by orgasm numbers two, three and four before he allowed you to weakly push him away. </p><p>Carefully pulling two thick fingers from you, Steve admired the glistening evidence of your slick and winked at you, enjoying how you blushed for him again. Pulling his blue sweater off, he preened a little when you let out an appreciative sigh at the sight of the movement of sculpted muscle under smooth skin. Captain America was like an X-rated physiology course, his long legs freed from his jeans and- yep. That part of him was even bigger than you’d suspected, even though he’d rubbed his clothed core over yours during countless makeout sessions. “I’m always gonna make you come first, doll,” he rumbled, “I don’t ever want to hurt you.” Climbing back over you, it felt like he’d blotted out the rest of the room, his warm skin caging you in and his thigh sliding between yours to spread them again. You’d both taken this moment seriously, getting a blood test from a deeply amused Dr. Cho and you deciding on a contraceptive shot. </p><p>He was looking down between you again, spreading your wet lips with a thumb and forefinger and sliding the head of his alarmingly large cock just barely into your channel. “You’re already squeezing me,” Steve groaned, “I knew you’d be snug, doll, but this … shit!”</p><p>“Ooo, you in trouble,” you laughed breathlessly, “quarter in the swear jar, baby, and- oh, my god I love you! Oh, my god!” </p><p>He was laughing, you could feel his broad chest shake against you and you didn’t care, wrapping your legs around his hips, digging your heels into his ass, trying to lessen the stretch and sting of him tearing through you. That bit of tissue gone and forgotten in the wake of how his cock spreading your walls much wider than was comfortable. You’d expected it to sting, sure. But even slick and soft after he’d dragged those orgasms from you, the weight of him was a lot.</p><p>Then, the cherry on this carnal sundae? Captain America was a dirty talker. “Look at you, taking my cock so well. I’m gonna play with your clit and distract you while I split you in half. You feel me stretching you wide, doll? You’re squeezing me so hard- shit- I’m only halfway in.” Steve slid a huge arm under your knee and pulled your leg up, opening you wide as his hips circled, his ass flexing as he pushed up inside you harder. By the time his heavy scrotum rested between your legs, you were breathing shallowly, feeling like his cock had pushed aside everything inside you to go where it wanted. The tip was rubbing insistently against your cervix, sending off little electrical shocks, an intensity that you weren't sure was painful or pleasurable, but by then you didn’t really care. When his warm palms slid under you, grasping your ass and moving you against him, you let out a little, breathy shriek that made you cringe when you heard it, but Steve chuckled. "Good girl, my good girl," he murmured and started to fuck you in earnest and crooning filth in your ear. </p><p> </p><p>Steve finally let you rest after making you come twice more, you wondering if you had a thing for pain or something because it still hurt like hell but that thumb of his, rasping gently over your clit was not going to give up. He was panting on top of you, warm sweat sliding over your skin and he kissed you sweetly. “Thank you for this honor of being your first,” he smiled rakishly, “and your last if I have anything to say about it.” When he pulled out, he frowned at the blood mixed with come and immediately grabbed a warm cloth, cleaning you with a gentleness that melted you into a boneless pile of adoration.</p><p>Curled up together and smiling at how nice his warmth felt, radiating around you, you whispered, “I love you, Steve. There’s no one for me but you.”</p><p>The sound of his voice, so kind as he whispered back, “I love you, too.”</p><p> </p><p>______________</p><p> </p><p>So now, sitting on Tony’s porch with a glass of wine forgotten on your lap, you stared at the empty platform. Dr. Banner and the other techs had already dismantled the machinery used for the process, even though you begged him to wait- just wait for a while, because Steve will come back- it’s just-</p><p>Sam was the one to put an arm around your shoulder and lead you away. “Hey, c’mon, you need a drink.” The crystal of the wineglass clattered against your teeth as you tried to drink the overfilled goblet he’d thrust at you. “He doesn’t need the computer system to open the Quantum Realm.” His eyes were dark, almost black, and more serious than you’d seen them. “He has the last of the Pym Particles, he could have come back if he…” Sam stopped, taking a gulp of scotch as his gaze wandered around the porch.</p><p>“Did you know he was going back to her?”</p><p>He shrugged. “No. But I’m not surprised. I guess Stevie decided to stop being so noble and unselfish, huh?”</p><p>Standing unsteadily and ignoring the slop of wine on your wrist, you smiled bitterly. “Smooth, Sam. Don’t worry, I’m clear I was his second choice.” You wanted to scream at him, but he was staring at you indifferently. Sam Wilson, the kind veteran who used to work with soldiers with PTSD. It reminded you again how all these people had changed when they came back from their travels.</p><p>Getting to your jeep was another ordeal.</p><p>“Wait!” Bucky was suddenly behind you as the door opened, and you wanted to bang your head against it. “Hang on, doll. I’m going back with you. We’ll talk, okay?” He was so close that your chilled skin felt on fire from his body heat. Steve had been like that, broiling hot all the time from that crazy metabolism, you used to joke that you’d never need another blanket with him around, and … fuck. He was gone.</p><p>“Look, Bucky, please, I just want to be alone, okay? I don’t- I really don’t want to see another Avenger for a while. Don’t take it personally-”</p><p>He stepped closer, plucking the keys from your fingers. “Your hands are shaking. C’mon. I know you’re in shock, at least a little bit. Lemme drive you. Just so I know you got home safe.” One big hand wrapped around your upper arm and he steered you into the passenger seat before you could answer him.</p><p>“Fine,” you said crossly, but you knew he wasn’t listening anyway.</p><p>Bucky did most of the talking on the way home, which surprised you. You’d heard the Winter Soldier lost his will or ability to communicate when he’d been deprogrammed. <em>‘Maybe something else that changed when he Dusted,’ </em>you thought. He talked lightly about old memories he’d shared with Steve. Funny moments, tales of growing up poor, what it was like to find his friend again. “Don’t you miss him?” you asked suddenly, “Aren’t you mad that he just … up and left? After everything you’ve been through together?”</p><p>He tapped his thumb on the steering wheel, waiting for the red light to change. “I don’t … yeah, I don’t agree with his choice. Steve’s not the same man who fell in love with Peggy 80 years ago. I don’t think he realizes that yet.”</p><p>When he pulled up in front of your brownstone, you reached over and took the keys out of the ignition, squeezing them in your hand. “I feel so…” the tears started burning in your eyes and you gritted your teeth. “We’ve been together for a year and a half, almost. How long did he know Peggy? Four, maybe six months?”</p><p>“He told me to take care of you,” Bucky cut in, shifting his huge body to look at you. “I promised him I would. You’ll be okay, doll. I’ve got you.” He leaned in, long hair falling over his eyes.</p><p>“Bucky, I don’t know what you two planned, but I can handle myself just fine, I don’t-”</p><p>“Shhhh...” he whispered, one huge hand suddenly covering your jaw and neck. “It’ll get easier. You’ll see.”</p><p>You stared at him, eyes wide over his grip on your face. There was a tapping on your window. "Hey, are you okay? I just heard about Steve." It was a neighbor from your building who worked with Dr. Banner, too. She looked uncomfortably between you and Bucky, who slowly removed his hand. Opening the door so fast that you nearly knocked her over, you scrambled out of your jeep. </p><p>C- come in with me, okay?" you babbled to your neighbor, "We can talk." You looked over your shoulder at Bucky as you not-quite ran for your door.</p><p>He was still in the driver's seat, watching you. You just saw him mouth, "I'll be seeing you," very precisely just before you slammed the door to the building shut.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Came Back For You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you try to move on with your life. But no one else agrees with that decision.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t sleep that night.</p><p>Pouring glass after glass of the only alcohol you had in the house - a godawful bottle of gin someone gave you last Christmas - you paced through your little place, unable to sit down. Every spot reminded you somehow of Steve. The worst part was trying to figure out what part of your ripped up heart to address first. </p><p>Yeah, the fact that your fiance and the love of your life made it clear that you were not, in fact, either of those things to him? You knew Peggy was an amazing, powerful woman in a time so few were allowed to be that way. But you also knew your - well, hers now -<em> her </em>Steve idolized her, a perfect, misty 80-year-old dream of a woman no one could ever match. You poured another finger of the vile, clear liquid unsteadily into your glass. Not even the real Peggy could match what he’d built up. Giving an inelegant snort, you mumbled, “Now, that, I wish I could be there to witness the tender moment when he figures that shit out.” And then you pictured him kissing her, hands cupping her cheeks the way he used to kiss you, like you were something to be treasured, and there was more crying.</p><p>Lying halfway on and halfway off the ottoman in your bedroom, you watched the sun come up as you forced yourself to drink some water. You gagged once, but kept it down. You’d already thrown up everything but your toenails and your heartache.</p><p>Grabbing a pen, you tried to list out your issues.</p><p> <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>After looking the list over, you realized you were still pretty toasted because you’d apparently ripped off a piece of your wallpaper to write this masterpiece and that your drunken handwriting looked like a second-grader's. Then number three made you cry some more until your eyes swelled and you fell asleep, still halfway on and halfway off the ottoman.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Six months later… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>You still have that scrap of wallpaper from your old bedroom, taped to the wall of your new one. Right by the door, where you could read it entering and leaving the room. And you did, every time to remind yourself of why you were here.</p><p>“Do you have the numbers?” Nick Fury was one of the few people you’d seen who seemed unchanged from being Dusted. He was an obstreperous asshole before, and he was exactly the same after he was “reconstituted.” </p><p>“Right here,” you agreed, pushing the thumb drive over his desk. </p><p>Fury grunted, going over the data as his single eye scrolled back and forth. “Any more trouble with the crew in New York? Barnes still sniffing around?" </p><p><em>This</em> was why you liked this guy, you reminded yourself, this.</p><p>It took less than a week after Steve left you to realize that Bucky intended on dragging you into- what? Sex? Captivity? You weren’t sure but it was clear none of the Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Assholes, intended to stop him. You’d worked with Dr. Banner for almost four years... But when you finally pulled together the last tattered bits of your courage and called Director Fury, his response was an instant one. “Get your ass down here and work for S.H.I.E.L.D. The pay is shit but they won’t be able to get through me. I’m sending two agents to pack you up.”</p><p>“Barnes? He’s sent me flowers every week. No signature but I know they’re from him.” You laughed mirthlessly. "There’s a picture in the notecard each time.”</p><p>His brow rose over his eyepatch. “A picture of what?”</p><p>You swallowed. “Me. Shopping. Going for a run. One taken through the window of my lab.”</p><p>A low growl rumbled somewhere in the region of Fury’s chest. “You want me to fly up there and raise some hell? If the rest of those assholes won’t call off their dog, I’ll damn well do it.”</p><p>“No, don’t,” you groaned, “you know it’ll just make it worse and then he’ll feel compelled to prove he’s bigger and badder.”</p><p>His single eye fixed on you again. “You look pasty. White. Do you need a vacation or something?”</p><p>“Thanks, boss,” you said drily. You knew you looked terrible. You worked and ran in the gym at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and never went outside. You couldn’t eat and you woke up a lot, shaking from nightmares of the Winter Soldier looming over your bed, or crying from a dream of Steve turning to face you as he disappeared, waving goodbye with a mocking smile on his face. “I like keeping busy.”</p><p>And it worked for a little while. Until the visit.</p><p> </p><p>It was close to Christmas, snow falling in a picturesque fashion as you were walking across the frozen grounds between the lab building and headquarters. Your red nose was tucked into your scarf and your head was down, so when you bumped into something tall and solid, you wondered if you’d walked into a tree.</p><p>But the tree reached up and grasped your upper arms, holding you steady. "Sweetheart?"</p><p>You knew that voice. You knew the smell of his leather jacket, and the warm scent of cotton and sea salt. Yanking loose, you looked up in shock. <em>"St- Steve?"</em></p><p>Steve fucking Rogers. He looked … well, he looked beautiful and perfect, his red lips curved in a tender smile, blond hair a little longer. “Oh, doll,” he crooned, crushing you to his chest, “I missed you so much. I’m back honey. To stay.”</p><p>You were frozen, cheek crushed to his wonderfully solid chest and for just a moment, just a second you allowed yourself to feel him again. The secure bulk of him. Enjoy the heat radiating from this<em> heartless son of a bitch. </em>“Let <em> go </em>of me, you asshole!” Shoving him away as hard as you could and knowing the only reason he let go was his surprise. “Are you fucking kidding? How fucking dare you!” You stumbled back, panting furiously and fists clenched. </p><p>“Wait- let me-” his gigantic hand was reaching toward you and you darted back. “Let’s go get a coffee, I’ll explain everything-”</p><p>“Holy shit! Steve Rogers? We heard … well, hey!”</p><p>You watched the head of the Pan-Pacific Intelligence Division step between you, enthusiastically pumping Steve’s hand. Three other S.H.I.E.L.D. employees swooped in, and you turned and ran like a chickenshit before he could shoulder his way between them.</p><p> </p><p>“So I see you’ve heard.” Fury’s greeting as you scooted past his receptionist, panting.</p><p>“That fucking asshole!” You were incendiary, you’d read about a red haze passing over one’s eyes but well, look at that. You were actually seeing red. You’d probably burst a blood vessel in your eye or something.</p><p>“Apparently Rogers’ vision of sharing cocoa or some shit under the mistletoe isn’t happening?” Fury asked.</p><p>“Only if I can stab him with it. Isn’t there a myth about mistletoe getting stabby?” You were rambling, you knew it but you were so fucking <em> angry </em>.</p><p>Leaning back and making his leather chair squeak, Fury said, “It gets better. He already put in a request to have you transferred back to the Avenger’s compound.”</p><p>You dropped into the chair across from him like a stone. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”</p><p>“Yeah, before loverboy came racing down to DC to pledge his eternal love to you, he had time to put together some paperwork and had Dr. Banner sign off on it. They’re claiming your expertise is crucial to Banner’s new research. He’s already set up new digs at the compound and - according to my intelligence - bought a big cabin way up in the Catskills.”</p><p>Your mouth dropped open, but you couldn’t think of anything to say.</p><p>It was just as well because Captain America was already striding into the office with a flurry of whispers and scattered applause behind him.</p><p>“Director Fury,” he nodded, then turned to you. “May I please speak to you alone? I know this is a shock, I just need-”</p><p>“No!” you interrupted him, “You don’t get to talk to me. You don’t get to order my life around. And you managed to hold back your vows of true love long enough to hang out with your buddies and fill out some paperwork before heading down to see me, huh? Screw you, Rogers.” You were back out the door before those perfect red lips could get a word out.</p><p>“Give her a moment, Rogers.” Fury’s sardonic tone halted Steve’s progress after her.</p><p>Turning around, he sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I knew she’d be sore at me. She has every right. But I came back for her. For <em>her,</em>” he emphasized, leaning on Fury’s desk. He and Nicholas Fury had always had a strange, cantankerous relationship, but they’d always risked their lives without hesitation for the other. But now the other man was looking him over like he’d never met him before.</p><p> </p><p>______________</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks for meeting me, doll." Steve stood up like the gentleman you'd thought he was, pulling out your chair with a smile. "What can I get you?"</p><p>You gestured with your coffee cup. "I'm all set, thanks. So what did you need to say?" Your heart was burning, he looked so beautiful, your Steve who was no longer yours. But it was hard to explain that when he smiled at you, wearing a bulky oatmeal-colored sweater and those jeans that outlined his ass so perfectly. And his leather jacket. And his eyes.</p><p>Ugh. You sucked at this.</p><p>"First, I need to say ... doll, I'm so sorry." He tried to take your free hand but you put it in your lap. "What I did was wrong. First, leaving you at all, and second, not talking to you about it. Just ... leaving you. I can't expect your forgiveness, but I still need to ask for it."</p><p>Shakily trying to take a gulp of bitter coffee, you tried to clear your throat. "So, why did you do it?"</p><p>He shook his head helplessly. "I've seen so much evil over this last century. And with Thanos? When I went back to get the Stones, I remembered how simple the time was. There was good and evil, but it wasn't..." Steve gestured helplessly, "this. And then I saw Peggy through the window and I ... I guess she became the symbol of everything I'd lost. And it just kept growing in my mind until I knew I had to go back. I had to try."</p><p>"How long were you there?" Fury had offered to give you the reports to read from "The Incident," as he called it, but you'd refused.</p><p>Steve smiled sadly. "About two months. Peggy was so happy to see me, it seemed for a while that it could be enough."</p><p>You gritted your teeth against the sob wanting to come up your throat. "So you finally had sex with Saint Peggy. How was it."</p><p>He drew back, offended. "Hey, don't. It's not worthy of you."</p><p>"You would not know what is worthy of me, Steve." You were fucking steaming now, which was good. Anger cleansing away the tears and the raw feeling he gave you. "So what happened? Wasn't she enough?"</p><p>Shaking his head, Steve looked down at his bagel. "I ... I will always care for Peggy. But she wasn't you." He looked up, those patriotic blue eyes wide. "I missed you so much. And what would I do there? Be a house husband? You always supported me, no matter what I had to do, you were there to back me up. I think I realized it the first night, but ... I had to try. I had to give it a chance."</p><p>Studying his face, you could almost believe it. Almost believe that this was your Steve. But there was a coal of something burning in the back of his open, clear gaze. Something he brought back with him in his travels through time? “I understand, Steve.”</p><p>His face lit with hope. “You do? Oh, sweetheart, I-”</p><p>“I do understand,” you pursued. “But you lost me when you left without even a look. You broke me, Steve. And you came back and instead of racing down to see your lost love,” okay that part was really sarcastic, but you plowed ahead. “You decided to make arrangements for my life without bothering to ask me. Like I’d just roll over and forget the last six months. And how you- what- gave me to Bucky or something? Told him to 'take care' of me?” You actually made the sassy two-fingered quotation salute and it felt so daring. “I’m done, Steve. I don’t want to have anything to do with you. We’re not getting back together. I’m not leaving Washington.” You stood, clumsily gathering your mittens and juggling your coffee. He stood too, such a gentleman. “Please don’t contact me again. Respect me enough for that.”</p><p>Steve was close to tears, eyes red and face pale. “Please honey, don’t- just- please give me a chance-”</p><p>No two letters had even felt so good coming out of your mouth. “No.”</p><p> </p><p>_______________</p><p> </p><p>“Shhh … no screaming, now.”</p><p>You were instantly awake and your hands flew to the hand smashed over your mouth and part of your nose. The Winter Soldier was hovering over you, his long hair brushing your face.</p><p>“Are you going to be a good girl?” He brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. You nodded stiffly. “Good. Good girl. We’re just going to have a little talk.” But his other hand was slipping under your tank top, the metal cool against your skin. “So you made it very clear to Steve that you two would not be getting back together, huh?” You narrowed your eyes, but didn’t shake or nod your head. You weren’t giving him anything to work with. His metal fingers were sliding along the underside of your breast, stroking the thin skin. His attention was diverted for a moment as he shoved the fabric up and over your breasts. Pinching a nipple and enjoying your muffled shriek of rage, he smiled at you devilishly. “So, Steve’s really down about that. And I feel bad for him, I really do…” His cool fingers were on your other breast now, circling the pink center and enjoying how it stiffened under his touch. “But Steve’s my best friend, and when he left to go back to Peggy, he told me to take care of you. And if you don’t want Steve to look after you, believe me doll, it’s my pleasure.” His hand squeezed your breast, not painfully, but enough to pay attention. Throwing one giant arm over your kicking legs, Bucky chuckled. “I like your temper, sweetheart. I’m looking forward to taming it.” His hand slid over your center and squeezed it - squeezed it! It hurt but horribly, it also sent a spike of warmth inside you and your hips jolted up. Your eyes watered and you blinked for a moment. And he was gone.</p><p> </p><p>“St- Steve?” Your voice was shaking and you didn’t care if he heard it.</p><p>He sounded instantly awake. “Hey doll, are you okay?”</p><p>“No,” you got up to make sure the door was locked, “Bucky w-was here, and he-”</p><p>“Wait, Bucky was where? In Washington?”</p><p>“In my bedroom! He was standing over me and I woke up and he put his hand over my mouth and said if I wasn’t yours, I was his! You have to- what is he doing, Steve?”</p><p>There was a rustling in the background like he was dressing hastily. “Are you safe now? Is he gone?”</p><p>“Yeah, he told me to think about it and disappeared.” You were pacing up and down your bedroom, pausing to look out the window. “Steve, what’s going on with him? Why is this happening?”</p><p>There was a pause, and he sighed. “I don’t know. Bucky’s been obsessed with you, looking after you for me, he said. But this? I’m coming down.”</p><p>“Wait!” You were hopping on one foot, pulling on jeans. You needed clothes on. Lots of clothes and you grabbed a sweatshirt. “You don’t have to do that. Can’t you just … make him go home? Can you tell him to stop?”</p><p>Steve’s tone turned urgent again. “I’ve been trying to contact him while we’ve been talking. His tracker is off. Shit! I have to come down, I’m sorry. I’ll take a quinjet and be there within the hour.”</p><p>You couldn’t stay in your apartment, there was no way. If Bucky got in that easily, who’s to say he won’t come back? Texting Steve, “I’ll be at S.H.I.E.L.D.” you grabbed your car keys and left. </p><p>The minute you entered headquarters, you felt safe. Taking in a shaky breath, you made your way to your lab. It was very early, 4am or so, but there were still employees bustling around on their mysterious errands. </p><p> </p><p>Heading down to break room, you started some coffee, slumping over the counter. All the adrenaline was gone and you could barely stand upright. Lawrence, the shy chemist in the next lab over was eating a disturbing-looking sandwich - was that liver? - and watching the news. You were still half asleep when he swung around and looked at you, eyes wide. “Hey, isn’t that your apartment building?”</p><p>Setting your cup on the counter with a thunk, you stared at the screen. </p><p>
  <em> “Breaking news … we have word that firefighters are battling a massive blaze at 1713 Euclid St NW, the cause of the fire is unknown, but one neighbor said it appeared there was an explosion on the third floor. At this time, there are no reports of survivors.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Swear to god just one more chapter. With a boatload of Dark!Steve smut. So... yay!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Where You Belong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you are swept up in the tidal wave of Captain Steve Rogers and the undertow of James Buchanan Barnes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>So <em>this</em> was what it was like to be paranoid. What was the joke, you tried to remember... “It’s not paranoia if they <em> are </em> all against you.” </p><p>What were you supposed to think? Your thoughts kept cycling as you huddled in your lab. Why would Bucky be stepping up to this level of insanity now? Now that Steve was back? Did he really kill all your neighbors? You started crying again as you thought of Miss Delores next door, who gave you bread and cookies in exchange for doing her shopping. Or the nice CDC doctor who always looked beat to hell because the current administration was always doing stupid shit that he had to clean up after. Please god, Bucky wouldn’t have killed them all, just to fuck with you, right? Please?</p><p>“Oh, sweetheart I am so sorry.”</p><p>One look at Steve’s stricken expression and you knew he was telling the truth. He was standing in the doorway of your lab, hair sticking up in all directions and unshaven. He held his arms out, but all you could think was, <em> Jesus, that man has the wingspan of a bald eagle. </em>You stayed where you were. “A- all the people in my building, he wouldn’t-” you started crying again, “he killed them. Did he kill them? Please-”</p><p>“Shhh…” Steve soothed, pulling you against him anyway. “They’re okay. I’ve already checked with the fire chief. They all got an anonymous phone call to get out before the explosion. It took a while to find them because everyone scattered.”</p><p>You were clinging on to his arms without noticing it, “E- even Miss Delores? Because she’s 73 and her knees are really bad-”</p><p>Oh, that smile of his, you mourned inwardly, so kind. </p><p>“Yes, sweetheart, she’s okay. I got you. It’ll be okay, I promise.” Steve was hugging you again, holding you tightly against that rock-hard frame of his but you let him. Just for now.</p><p>He’d gotten you another cup of coffee and a muffin and made you sit down and eat, you pulling little bits of muffin off the whole and rolling them into little pills before putting them in your mouth. “We need to move you to somewhere safer, doll.”</p><p>“I know,” you mumbled, “I’ve already sent a message to Director Fury - he’s out on a mission - and I’ll decide-”</p><p>“Please listen to me.” Steve was kneeling in front of you, long, long legs folded and hands on your knees. “Please. I can’t … Bucky won’t answer his phone. Or his comm. Or his emergency tracker. He’s disabled it so I can’t find him. This is bad, doll. Really bad. I don’t know what he’s doing. I don’t understand what … did he contact you while I was gone?”</p><p>You laughed bitterly. “Are you serious right now? Your buddies didn’t tell you that I had to leave my job with Dr. Banner because Barnes wouldn’t leave me alone? That they all made it quite clear they wouldn’t help me?”</p><p>You were spitefully pleased to see Steve looked stricken by your words. “No! They said you just wanted a change. Look, I can’t change what’s happened doll. But I’m telling you … Fury’s not here. I don’t know any of these guys well enough to trust them. You don’t have to stay, but please, just come to the Avenger’s compound with me now, okay?” You tried to pull your hands away but he held tight. “You can come and go whenever you want. Just … let me keep you safe until I can track that punk down and see why he’s gone rogue."</p><p>Leaning away, you tried to pull yourself together, staring at him. Your silly little list came to mind and your lips tightened. Burned, like everything else that mattered to you. "Give me your word, Steven Grant Rogers. Swear it on your ma's name."</p><p>For a magical moment, he was your Steve again. Cupping your face with those gigantic, calloused hands of his, he held you with infinite delicacy and vowed it solemnly, "On the name of my mother Sarah Rogers, I swear to you that I will keep you safe and let you leave when you want to."</p><p>You drew in a shaky breath. What choice did you have? S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were tough, but even if they could hold off Bucky, someone was bound to get hurt in the process. Probably die. Maybe a lot of somebodies. “Okay.” You chuckled a little. “I’m packing light, huh?”</p><p>A huge smile broke over that perfectly fine-boned face and Steve hugged you close. “Thank you, I’ll keep you safe, sweetheart. I promise.”</p><p>You held still, not putting your arms around him and feeling completely enclosed within his muscular reach. It used to feel comforting when he did this. </p><p> </p><p>“The prodigal daughter returns!” Clint was the one who hailed you as you walked into the compound’s main lounge. He was holding a half-empty bottle of vodka and toasted you with it. </p><p>Ignoring the creepy implications of his greeting, your brows drew together. “Why aren’t you home at the farm?” Losing his entire family had nearly destroyed Clint, you knew that. Steve had talked about how just tracking him down as Ronin was a miracle. You’d think he’d never leave them again.</p><p>He let out a gurgling chuckle as he took another swallow. “I got a lot of stuff going on here.”</p><p>“Oh…” you said awkwardly. “Okay. It’s uh … nice to see you?”</p><p>Clint was already walking out of the room and you watched his legs disappear into a vent, but then Dr. Banner was walking in with Wanda and Sam. “There she is!” Your old boss was smiling, but it didn't fit correctly on his bigger green face. “We’re so glad you’re back! There’s lots of work to do on this new project, it’s part of the molecular fusion sequencing we’d just started when you left, and-”</p><p>“I’m not back, Dr. Banner,” you interrupted, “I’m just here while Steve tracks down his psycho best friend who set fire to my apartment building.”</p><p>It was Wanda who broke into bright, tinkling laughter as the men stared at you, expressionless. “Oh, darling, don’t be silly. How can Steve take care of you if you are down in Washington DC?” She moved in and put her arms around you from behind in a hug. You froze. Wanda had <em>never</em> hugged you. She’d been painfully, painfully shy before the Avengers defeated Thanos and never gave you more than a bob of her head as she passed by. “This is where you belong,” she whispered in that elegant accent, then kissed the side of your head as Steve moved to the front of you, locking you in.</p><p>There was an odd silence in the room, everyone simply standing there, watching the creepy tableau you made. ”I’m tired,” you said abruptly, moving your shoulders and trying to get loose. “I need to get some sleep, if you’ll excuse me.”</p><p>“Of course, doll,” Steve said in a tender tone, pulling you away.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not staying here.” You were standing in front of the door to his suite and there was no way you were going in there. Defensively pulling your backpack of hastily gathered odds and ends against your chest, you shook your head again. “There’s got to be an empty room somewhere. I don’t need anything fancy.” </p><p>“Doll- wait-” Steve was trying to get in front of you as you skittered away, “Stop!” He sucked in a deep breath when you looked up at him with huge eyes. “I- Bucky can still get in here. We’ve programmed FRIDAY but that’s child’s play for him.”</p><p>“I beg your pardon, Captain Rogers?” You recognized the AI overheard and pressed your lips together. There was clearly wounded pride there.</p><p>“Sorry FRIDAY,” Steve said, distracted, “but the point is, I have two bedrooms. You can have your own room. You can lock the door if you want. I just have to be close to you.”</p><p>You stared at those beautiful blue eyes, his square jaw, and noble countenance. “FRIDAY?”</p><p>“Yes, Miss?”</p><p>“Can you alter the permission codes so no one can access my room without my express verbal approval?”</p><p>Now, you were almost certain the AI’s tone was smug. “With the Captain’s willingness to release it, of course.” You looked up at the man in question, eyebrow arched.</p><p>Steve had the gall to look wounded. “Well, of course, doll,” he said reluctantly, “if that’s what you want.”</p><p> </p><p>You tossed and turned, the bed was too hard, the room was too warm, the pillow was too soft… with a sigh, you opened your eyes and choked back a scream.</p><p>“Oh, baby. Did you think running back to Steve now would save you?” Bucky’s bulk was unimaginable when he loomed over you, trapped on your back. His cold metal fingers traced over your cheek and then took your jaw in a firm hold. “Now, I have committed at this point,” he said harshly. “I’ve put plans in motion and you will not be a bad girl and try to dig in your heels.”</p><p>“B- Bucky, let’s t- talk to Steve, okay? Let’s just talk this out-”</p><p>He leaned closer now, the scent of a baseball field after a good rainstorm, leather, a slight tinge of sweat. “Oh, sweetheart. There’s no more talking.” The weight and chill of his vibranium hand were harsh on your neck and you began to choke. Grabbing his wrist, you tried to pull him away but Bucky’s head tilted, watching with interest as your face turned red.</p><p> </p><p>“Bucky stop Bucky stop Bucky stop!” you were screaming it, and the frantic pounding on your door finally woke you up.</p><p>“It’s Steve!” he shouted, “Doll, please open the door!”</p><p>You had to make three attempts to say the word FRIDAY, but eventually, you got the door open and Steve burst through, wearing thin sleeping pants and nothing else. He hit the light switch and looked around frantically. It took you a minute to realize he had his shield.</p><p>“Where is he? You were screaming ‘Bucky, stop’?”</p><p>Looking around the room, you rubbed your neck where you could still feel his fingers. “I don’t know but I swear Steve, I swear he was here! He was choking me!”</p><p>Putting down his shield, he cautiously approached you. “Where? Show me.”</p><p>“Here!” you angrily pointed at your throat, “Here, he was standing over me again like last time and he put his hand on my neck and started squeezing.”</p><p>Steve got up and picked up a mirror off the dresser. “Show me?”</p><p>“It was-” you gingerly touched the skin that you sure would already be bruising. “I swear, Steve, he was here!”</p><p>He looked at your helplessly, “Okay, doll, I… look. The front door to my apartment is still locked. FRIDAY?”</p><p>“Yes, Captain?”</p><p>“Was there any unauthorized entry into my apartment tonight?”</p><p>“No, Captain Rogers.”</p><p>“Was there any unauthorized entry in any way into this room tonight?”</p><p>You would swear the AI almost sounded regretful saying it. “No, Captain Rogers.”</p><p>His hugely broad shoulders slumped in relief. “Steve, I swear-” your voice broke, god this was humiliating. “Steve, I swear he was in here! I could feel his hand choking me!”</p><p>“I’m going to get you some water, okay? Your throat might be feeling sore,” he ran a hand through his hair as he stood. When he came back, he had a glass of water and a warm cloth, which he carefully wiped over your face. You were so shaken, you simply let him. He even lifted the glass to your lips, holding it for you. “Good,” he smiled at you warmly, “good. Do you think you can sleep? I’m just going to sit in this chair by the door, okay?"</p><p>If he thought you were going to say, “Oh, no. Don’t do that, you can come sleep on the bed. We’re adults here…” he was wrong. You know Steve could go days, weeks even without sleep. He’d kept you up forty-eight straight hours once after a grueling mission where all he wanted to do was fuck you. And he did until you were so sore and exhausted that you had to beg him to stop. Not that you wanted to- but one of you had a frail, human body and it wasn’t him. That was one of the first moments where Steve didn’t seem so familiar to you.</p><p>“Okay, thank you, Steve. Goodnight.”</p><p>You turned off the light and there was a silence before he sighed. “Good night sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>Now, this time, you were sure it was a dream. The mattress dipped as Steve’s huge body crawled over to you. There was no window in the room, but you could just see the shadow of him as he leaned down to kiss your cheek, your chin, and the tip of your nose. “My poor girl,” he crooned, “my best girl. I know you’re scared, but I have you. I promise, you’re safe with me.”</p><p>You didn’t even bother to talk, it was a dream, after all. Your eyes were huge, trying to make out his face, the faint glimmer of blonde hair. When his mouth moved over yours, you didn’t even try to pull away. It was a dream. You’d have this at least.</p><p>The push of his hard pectorals against the bare skin of your breasts startled you. Where did your clothes-? Never mind, it’s a dream. He rubbed his chest slowly over yours, feeling the hard points of your nipples begin to press against him. “Oh, god baby, I’ve missed this…” Steve groaned, his head tilting back for a moment before focusing again on you. “Missed you.” His mouth was over yours then and his tongue slickly between your lips. His warm hand stroked down between your breasts and rested heavily on your abdomen. “Do you know how many nights I fucked Peggy and pictured you?” His whisper was so dark, ending in a little chuckle, inviting you to agree how ridiculous it was. “She’d slept around, and I knew it back then. I guess I didn’t think it would matter…” Those damnably long fingers circled your belly button and slid lower, finding your clitoris, stroking it so lightly. “But she felt just… like everyone else. Not like you, my lovely little virgin.” You audibly groaned, startled to hear the noise coming from you. Steve always knew how to touch you. That your clit was so sensitive that he needed the lightest pats from the calloused pads of his fingers to drive you to desperation. And god, it had been six months! You shivered a little and it made him chuckle.</p><p>"Oh, my good, sweet girl. It's been a long time for you, hasn't it?" He kissed you again, approvingly. "My best girl. Who gave her virginity to me. Who waited for me." He rolled over so that he was resting over you on his forearms, the bulge of his biceps rubbing against your breasts. “Let me take care of you.” When two thick fingers slid up inside your channel, you must have made some noise of protest, because he pressed them firmly against the front wall of your cunt, putting his other hand on your abdomen, pushing down a bit. “Ah, god doll…” he groaned, “I can feel my fingers.” Kissing you reproachfully, Steve scolded you. “You haven’t been eating right. Taking care of yourself. But I’m going to take care of you so good. Cook for you, brush your hair… love you for hours. Stretch you so good, babygirl.” There were suddenly three fingers pushing back into you as you stifled a shriek. </p><p>“Shhh.” Steve’s thumb slid into your mouth and you found yourself mindlessly sucking on it, accidentally biting it when his hot lips landed on your swollen little nub, sucking luxuriously as his body held you down against the sheets, your hips desperately trying to move, to rise. Were you trying to move with his fingers fucking you, or against them? You weren’t sure but even Captain America’s fingers were longer, thicker, slipping and sliding against all the secret places inside you, rough pads pressing against nerves endings that made you gasp and try to close your thighs against him.</p><p>You wanted to put your hands into his thick hair. Pull it? Push his face harder into you? You didn’t get a chance to examine it, because then you were coming, back arched, breasts pushing to the ceiling, nipples peaked. When Steve had pulled the first one from you, the second was followed easily. Pulling himself up your heaving body, he smiled down at you tenderly. “My sweet girl. One more, now.” Then your defenseless clit was trapped between the knuckles of his ring and middle finger, and he pulled.</p><p>This time you let out a shriek loud enough to shatter glass, but the cruel, beautiful man above you merely grinned and pulled his fingers again, twisting this time and pulling you - kicking and screaming - into another orgasm that lasted so long that the only thing left for you to do was groan hoarsely and shudder against his fingers.</p><p>Barely conscious, you could feel him cleaning you gently, making shushing sounds when you moaned and tried to pull away. Then his hand was behind your head, helping you drink some water before rolling you on your side and curling up behind you, engulfing you in his bulk, his sleek muscles, and long legs.</p><p>“I’ve got you, doll. You’re going to feel so much better now that you’re relaxed. Sleep, baby. I’ll be here.”</p><p>You were so sore and tired, you had questions but when your lips tried to shape the words they flew away like frightened birds. So you did as you were told, falling so deeply asleep you didn't move for the rest of the night.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Okay, this time I MEAN IT. Fourth and final chapter up in a day or two. Thank you as always for reading. I mean it this time, Steve! I swear!</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, this time I MEAN IT. Fourth and final chapter up in a day or two. Thank you as always for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The White Room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Steve is going to get you to forgive him. No matter what it takes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Remember this is 18+ ONLY. Dubcon/possible noncon here. Please choose your media consumption accordingly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Director?”</p><p>Fury looked up, his lone eye narrowed to see his personal assistant and his deputy director standing there. “Why do you both have that look that tells me I am going to be very unhappy with the next words out of your mouth?”</p><p>“Uh, it’s about Steve Rogers, sir, he took his ex back to the Avenger’s compound after someone firebombed her apartment building. She was supposed to check in twelve hours ago, and…”</p><p>“Yessss?” he hissed, leaning on his knuckles against his desk.</p><p>“When we finally reached Dr. Banner, he said they’d never been there.”</p><p>“That motherFUCKER!” roared Fury, “I should have known. I’m off on a god DAMN wild goose chase and-” He looked up at the two agents cringing in the corner of his office. “I know where he’s going. Get me a unit of agents - full arms - and a quinjet. And get your snow boots.”</p><p> </p><p>__________</p><p> </p><p>When you woke up, everything was white. A uniform, shiny white. White walls, a white bed, white sheets and blankets. White wooden floor. No windows, no tv or books, no table or chairs. One door with a complicated security pad. Another door that led to a bathroom with … yep, white tile, white towels and fixtures. No window. A look in the mirror showed you were only in your underwear. The bedroom door opened and you crossed your arms awkwardly over your chest, then forced them down. It’s not like Steve hadn’t seen you naked before. </p><p>“There she is,” he was smiling at you so fondly. </p><p>“You drugged me?” you hissed. “Are you nuts? You can’t-”</p><p>Suddenly there was a wall of muscled chest in front of you. “I came back for you, sweetheart. For <em>you!</em> And we'll stay here until we work this out." He loomed over you, eyes dark and furious. When you realized his fists were clenching and unclenching, you stepped back. Giving a frustrated huff, he placed his hand on the security pad. “We’ll talk later when you’re calmer, more rational.”</p><p>“You can’t keep me here! Steve, damnit!” You’d been screaming and kicking at that bland white door for what felt like half the day, and there was no answer. No noise at all, in fact, which told you that your shiny white cage was soundproof. Giving the impervious barrier one last kick, you leaned against it. Whatever he’d dosed you with wasn’t fully out of your system and even your bones felt sore. “Steve … c’mon. Don’t be a dick.”</p><p> </p><p>Not a sound.</p><p>__________</p><p> </p><p>The blades of the quinjet sent up a torrent of snow as it landed, and the agents pushed through their self-made blizzard, heading for the cabin seated grandly at the top of the drive. Fury angrily circled and waved, moving his people into position. He’d expected something from Rogers and Barnes, letting them get this close? But he signaled again, and the agents pulled up the Blackhawk entry special and it blasted through the stout oak front door.</p><p>Fury’s expression grew more menacing as each agent shouted, “Clear!”</p><p>“Clear!”</p><p>“Clear here, Director.”</p><p>“Director Fury, the entire structure is clear.” He stared sourly at Agent Marks as if this was entirely his fault. Putting his hands on his hips, he turned in a circle, eyeing the snowy pines surrounding the cabin Steve Roger purchased in the Catskills when he returned from the past.</p><p>“If he didn’t bring her here,” Fury growled, “where the hell are they?”</p><p> </p><p>__________</p><p> </p><p>The first time Steve opened the door to bring in food, you’d thrown it back at him, corn and mashed potatoes bouncing off the shiny white wall. He’d calmly taken you by the arm and put you in the shiny white bathroom and locked the door. You’d pounded on the door, yelling at him. You heard the scraping sounds of him cleaning up the broken plate and then the door shutting. You were in the bathroom for a long time, pacing angrily, taking a shower, sitting in the tub, carefully drawing “Fuck you, Steve!” and “You’re an asshole Bucky!” in the bright red lipstick you’d found in the drawer with a group of expensive cosmetics. You moved onto the white subway tile with the eyeliner, using every bit of profanity you could think of. You grew hungry, but your lip curled. Fuck him. </p><p>You didn't know how long you'd been in there when Steve finally opened the door - you were guessing a couple of days - but you'd been eyeing the expensive almond lotion and wondering if it was edible.</p><p>"How long are you going to keep me in here?" you hissed. God, was it possible Captain Asshole had gotten even bigger?</p><p>Steve leaned against the door, gaze direct and clear, a slight smile playing on his lips. He was wearing a white wifebeater - a size too small of course - massive arms folded over his stupidly gigantic chest. “That depends. Do you forgive me for leaving you?”</p><p>Your jaw dropped. “Are you shitting me?”</p><p>“You’ve developed quite a potty mouth since I’ve left,” he said disapprovingly.</p><p>“You drugged me and kidnapped me!” you shouted, “After you<em> left</em> me without ever saying a word, no goodbye, just … dumped me for your precious Peggy. You come back and think I’m going to fall in your fucking arms? And this weird shit with Bucky? I don’t forgive you! I will never forgive you so let me go!”</p><p>Steve looked genuinely saddened. “I’m sorry baby. <b> <em>But I won’t give up until you do forgive me.”</em> </b> He walked out the door, locking it behind him.</p><p>That night, you dreamed of Bucky.</p><p>He was darker, suntanned, and wearing only a pair of jeans. His chest was beautifully defined, even with the cruel scars mapping the route to his vibranium arm. He was sitting in a white chair across from your white bed, and he looked even better because he was the only goddamned color in your room. “Doll,” his voice was husky, slightly amused, “why are you making it so hard on the punk, huh? You know he loves you.” He leaned forward, elbows on knees, “He loves you, baby. You gotta forgive him.”</p><p>You were dreaming. Dreaming and bored even in your sleep. “Go away, Bucky,” you groaned, “you blew up my apartment building, you asshole.”</p><p>Your beautiful nightmare had the actual gall to chuckle. "Well, you were burrowed in there so deep. I had to pry you loose so you'd fly into Steve's waiting arms." Bucky rose, coming to sit on your bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. </p><p>'Man,' you marveled absently, 'this is a really intense dream...'</p><p>He placed one bulky arm on the other side of you, leaning in. His eyes were so vivid, a swirling blue like a mountain lake. “Why are you guys doing this?” you finally asked.</p><p>He chuckled, low and strange, a little scary. “Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea how far we had to come to be with you.”</p><p>Bolting upright in your white, white bed, you looked around wildly. Nothing was different. You were alone. And fucking starving.</p><p>Each morning - you guessed anyway because that’s when the lights came on - Steve would enter into your room, carrying a breakfast tray of something beautiful. A swiss cheese frittata, accompanied by sourdough English muffins, dripping with butter. Or a gloriously layered yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit parfait, the sliced mango so gorgeous and vivid in your pale surroundings. Or stacks of waffles drenched in maple syrup with plump sausages. And each morning he’d ask the same question. “Doll, can you forgive me?”</p><p>And each morning, you’d say, “No.”</p><p>By the fifth day, your stomach was curled inside itself and cramping painfully. He’d take a little longer, holding the tray closer so you could <em>smell</em> it - which was even more painful than the tempting vision of the feast he'd offer you, that little smile curving his full mouth. "Doll," he crooned, his sweet, concerned tone almost bringing tears to your eyes, "I'm so worried about you. You can't live on water from the bathroom sink forever. Please, baby. Can you forgive me?"</p><p>Licking your cracked lips, you stared at him. "Steve. Please, if you really cared about me, you wouldn't do this."</p><p>He leaned in close so that the breath from his whisper tickled your skin. "Doll. Do you forgive me?" You stared at him, breath hitching even if you were fighting it. Steve dipped one thumb into the shiny patina of butter and syrup, stroking gently along your lips. Your tongue darted out to lick your lips, almost moaning at the taste and moving along his thumb, making Steve groan, too.</p><p>That one, incredible burst of flavor strengthened you. Licking away the last, delicious trace, you gritted out, "No."</p><p> </p><p>Sticking your head under the bathroom faucet and drinking as much water as your cramping stomach could bear, you remembered one crazy diet you did in high school, where you fasted for thirteen days with three of your girlfriends. Of course, you cheated twice. But still, this was nothing. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you stared in the mirror. It was getting harder to tell when you were asleep and when you weren't. You seemed to be having conversations, with Steve, with Bucky. Once, with Dr. Banner but you were pretty sure that was a memory...</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>...It was the morning after you'd arrived at the Avenger's compound with Steve to "protect" you from Bucky, who'd shown up anyway to choke you out in your "secure" room. Steve brought you down to Dr. Banner's labs after breakfast, which you think was your last meal. Banner was excited to see you, pulling you from one table to another, pulling up a 4D display to show you an extension of the molecular fusion experiment he’d been struggling with. “You’ll see here that the exposure should have happened with the cascade effect introducing the-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You leaned in, squinting at the calculations and tentatively raising your hand. “May I?” you asked, gesturing at the display.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Of course,” Dr. Banner nodded, putting his big green paws in his reinforced lab coat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Well, your code works perfectly, except the three key numbers are exactly .05% off. Each one. So, if you just change the…” you were already typing, absorbed in the calculation, so you missed the look between your green host and Steve. “...It should - yeah, right there. See?” This time, the cascade multiplied the molecular structure beautifully in a spiraling display.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dr. Banner straightened his glasses, eyeing the formula again. “That’s incredible! How did I miss that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your brow wrinkled slightly. How did he miss something so obvious? “Yeah, I don’t know…”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He looked up, beaming happily. “Well, you’re back, so progress is going to triple in pace, I know it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, doc, no…” you shook your head, “no, I’m not coming back, I’m just here until you all can chase down Bucky and find out what the hell is wrong with him. I’m going back to Washington.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steve was behind you suddenly, arms wrapping around your waist. “Doll, don’t be silly! You belong here, honey. With us.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘No nonononono not this again!’ you moaned internally, pulling away from him. “Steve, let’s not … do this right now.” Even though you resented Dr. Banner for not standing by you when Steve left, he was still a scientist you admired and you didn’t want another spat in front of him. But his broad, green face was watching the two of you with a detached interest as you attempted to eel your way free from Steve gigantic arms. “Look, I have to call in to Director fury’s office, so-” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> His face flushed, eyes dark again Steve took your arm. “No, you don’t sweetheart. Fury doesn’t own you, and-” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Neither do you!” Yanking your arm free, you backed away from both of them. “I knew this was a mistake. I’m going to call in and figure out what to do, and you should be thinking about your psycho buddy Bucky and how to keep him from blowing up anyone else’s place.” You’d backed out into the main hall by now and Clint was leaning against the wall, eyeing you curiously. Sam and Wanda were seated together on the couch, heads tilted together, whispering. Sitting on the counter munching popcorn was sweet Peter Parker, legs swinging aimlessly and watching everything with a flat, indifferent stare. “Peter…” His response really hurt. Dr. Banner had told you so many stories about Spiderman, lost in the Snap. How kind and courageous the boy was. “You enjoying the show?” you asked him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He shrugged. The kid everyone had loved for his decency shrugged. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What happened to you all!” you shouted, “You were good people, you were heroes! You’re- screw this, I’m leaving. I’m safer out there.” Spinning on your heel and heading for the door, you barely felt the sting of the needle in your neck. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>When you came to, you were on the bathroom floor, leaning against all that stupid white tile. Rubbing your stinging eyes, you tried to think. How many days was it again? crawling over to the counter, you looked under it where you'd used the last of the eyeliner to make little hashmarks. "One, two, three ... shit, sixteen?" you mumbled. "That can't be ... it's been sixteen days?" Sniffling a little, you wearily pulled yourself up and turned on the faucet. Nothing came out. "No, no, NO!" Smacking the dry spigot, you began to cry. </p><p>The next time the door opened and Steve walked through with a huge breakfast tray, you were sitting on the bed, looking down at your hands in your lap.</p><p>“Doll, can you forgive me?” He knelt down in front of you, his beautiful face worried.</p><p>Steve was so tall that even kneeling, you were face to face. You stared at him, wondering where it happened, when did he become this monster? Where did the sweet, romantic man go who’d taken your virginity so tenderly? “I-” swallowing against your painfully dry throat, you tried it again. “I forgive you, Steve. C- completely.”</p><p>He seized your hand and kissed it. “Do you love me, doll?”</p><p>You’d never been a good liar. “Yes,” you barely whispered. Gathering you up against that mountainous chest of his, he rested your head against his shoulder, cupping it tenderly. “I love you, too.” Lifting you back on the bed and fluffing the white pillows behind you, he lifted a glass of orange juice to your lips. Eyeing the condensation on the side of the glass, you sipped it and moaned. It was the sluttiest, most wanton noise you’d ever made but you were too tired to flush. Chuckling, Steve whispered, “I can hardly wait to hear those noises again when you’re under me.”</p><p>In the end, the puffy German pancake and crisp bacon went uneaten. You’d barely managed to keep down half the glass of juice and a slice of dry toast. Which Steve had known would happen, of course. He’d procured a little table and two chairs, seating you and hand-feeding you until you shook your head. Then he consumed the massive breakfast, smiling at you lovingly the whole time. Putting his napkin on the table, he said, “How about we get you out of this room?”</p><p>Nodding so rapidly you got dizzy, you managed, “Yes, please!” Picking you up effortlessly, Steve carried you out of your white, white prison and into the main room that exploded with color. The rising sun seared over turquoise waves and into the glassed front of the house. “Where are we?” you gasped, “I thought- the cabin you…?”</p><p>Steve chuckled, “I bought that to keep Fury busy. We’re down in Central America, near Belize.” He settled you on his lap in a huge, cushioned beach chair on a deck that stretched the length of the house. “Welcome to Half Moon Key.”</p><p>You burst into laughter. “You bought an <em> island? </em> Seriously?” Then, it wasn’t funny anymore. ‘Oh, fuck. I’m on an <em> island.’ </em>You were so tired and full from the meager breakfast that you fell asleep against Steve’s chest, feeling him wrap his arms around you, resting his cheek against the top of your head with a contented hum.</p><p>By the time the sun was making its way back down to the horizon, you knew it was time to pay the piper. Your gorgeous captor fed and pampered you all day, then led you into the master bedroom. You sighed in relief. More color, blues and greens mirroring the world outside. The master bathroom was created from an exquisite coral stone in shades of rose and taupe. Putting you into the big tub, Steve tenderly washed your hair, rubbing your scalp and rinsing you. He wrapped you in a huge pink robe and set you on a bench in front of a dressing table with a steaming cup of tea and some snacks. And… your heart sank. More cosmetics like the ones he’d taken away from you when you’d graffitied the horrible white bathroom. Old-style makeup with red lipstick and setting powder with a big, fluffy brush. Hairstyling products. Steve's arms came down on either side of you, resting on the table, he looked at you in the mirror. "I put a pretty outfit for you on the bed. Why don't you get all dolled up and we'll have dinner?" Tilting your head up, he gave you a tender kiss.</p><p>He had to have felt the way your lips were trembling, but you forced yourself to smile and nod. “Okay, that sounds great. Um, thanks.”</p><p>Suddenly his cheek was pressed against yours and you jumped a little. “Call me sweetheart, the way you used to?” he pleaded.</p><p>“Th- thank you, sweetheart,” you managed, “I’ll get ready now, okay?”</p><p>Staring at the dress while you tried to drink the scalding tea, you knew what Captain Steve Rogers, the hero of World War Two wanted from you. It was a darling 50’s style halter top dress with a big, swirling skirt in shameless scarlet with little black polka dots. There was even a petticoat to fill out the skirt, black pumps and delicate lingerie. An old-fashioned garter belt, seamed stockings, black lace bra, and undies. Picking a gossamer stocking up with thumb and forefinger, you glared at it. ‘Play the game,’ you thought, not even daring to whisper it, knowing how good that beautiful lunatic’s hearing was, ‘you have to play the game or you’ll never get out of here.’</p><p>So as you got ready, you listened to the muted clink of dishes laid out on the table, the scrape of pans and then from the speaker, the 50’s Big Band music Steve loved so much. You tried to keep your hand steady as you carefully applied the red lipstick. It was a brazen color you’d never wear in real life. Or the cat’s-eye liner and extra thick lashes. The dress fit perfectly and if it had been any other time, you would have twirled in it happily. You’d dressed up one night - in your real life, when you loved the real Steve Rogers - with a cute updo in a 50’s style, and you struggled to get your hair pinned the same way. </p><p>“Oh, sweetheart…” Steve’s voice was reverent as he stood in the door, admiring you.</p><p>Forcing a smile, you gave that little twirl, letting the dress swirl out around you. “Will I do?”</p><p>His eyes went midnight blue and he wasn’t sweet anymore. “We better eat,” he managed, “or you won’t be eating at all.”</p><p>Dinner was on the endless stone terrace, table beautifully laid with china and candles blazing. But you couldn’t taste a thing, just mechanically eating and smiling as he talked about memories from the war, inspired by the soft music. “There was a time that Dun Dun tried to get a French girl to-”</p><p>Your brow furrowed. “I thought you called him Dum Dum?”</p><p>Steve chuckled, moving on to another story.</p><p>When he finally pulled you to your feet, you could barely stand. Your first time with him, you were so nervous. Excited and nervous and happy. It was the first time again and you felt none of those things. Just the unnerving sense that the man pulling you into his arms was a dark stranger.</p><p>“Oh, doll…” he sighed, “I’ve waited a long time for this.” He smoothly pulled you into a slow, drifting movement around the terrace as a new song began.</p><p>“What’s this song?”</p><p>“Hmmm,” he said, pulling you in tightly, “It's Been A Long, Long Way.” </p><p>Why did that seem wrong, somehow?</p><p>His hands moved restlessly now, gripping harder, squeezing your waist and sliding down over your ass, pulling you against him. His lower half was pulsing, swollen and as he rubbed you against it, you could feel your treacherous pussy respond. As the song segued into the next, Steve’s breath was rasping along the bare skin of your shoulder. Hips circling, taking yours with them as he pulled your leg up against his hip, setting you off balance as his calloused fingers stroked over the bare strip of skin between your undies and stocking. “I keep thinking about how soft you are here,” he said, one long finger stroking the crease between your center and your thigh, “how sensitive you were when I ran my tongue along here. I used to love eating you out. Your back would arch and you made the cutest little noises…” He chuckled as you cringed. “No being shy now, doll. I’m going to fuck you raw. And you’re going to love every minute of.” Yelping as his thumb stroked between your lower lips, you tried to bring your leg down but he wouldn’t allow it. “Are you virgin tight again? No one’s been in this pussy since me, I know that.”</p><p>“H- how do you know that?” You were trying to be snarly and mean, but Steve merely picked you up and dropped you onto the balcony railing. It was quite a fall from that particular spot, the stone wall holding back the sharp rocks and then the white sand of the beach. He flipped up your skirt and shoved the thin panel of your underwear against his dress pants.</p><p>“You don’t think I don’t know everything about my best girl?” Another thrust of his hips that would have sent you sailing off the balcony if you hadn’t wrapped your legs tightly, terrified, around his narrow waist. There was a ripping noise and you felt the cool sea air on your breasts, bare now and one nipple already in Steve’s mouth, sucking vigorously as his finger slid inside you. “So good,” he groaned, “just perfect, my sweet girl. One day our babies will be drinking from these, but right now, your body is all mine.”</p><p>Another thrust and your arms wrapped desperately around his neck. “Babies? Oh, sweetheart that’s a little - oh! - a little premature?”</p><p>Two fingers now inside you, sliding slickly along your walls, pressing and playing with you, stroking along nerve endings and scissoring abruptly, widening you as you yelped again. “Oh, we’ll practice,” he whispered into your ear. “A lot.” One hand slid between your shoulder blades and you shrieked as he tipped you backward, the crash of the surf below upside down in your terrified gaze as your pussy pressed harder against him. He had your big skirt shoved up around your hips, and with a sharp pressure, you felt him tear your panties off. His blond head was between your breasts, sucking red and purple bruises into the pale skin there. “I am going to mark every part of you,” Steve groaned, “everyone will know who owns you when I’m finished.” He punctuated the promise with a sharp bite to your nipple and you yelped again. You felt impossibly, painfully full and he nibbled on your soft earlobe as he continued, “Three fingers now, doll, three in that tight, tasty pussy of yours.” His thumb was tapping and circling your clit and it was just forceful enough to make your stomach muscles clench violently, bringing your head back up. His hand on your back slid lower and you were upside down again, back arched painfully. “You’re going to have to like it harder, my sweet girl. So tender…” abruptly, his fingers pulled from you and you felt the cold of his zipper pressing against your ass as…</p><p>“Oh, god,” you choked out, “Steve - sweetheart it’s too big like this-”</p><p>The broad, hot head of his cock was pushing inside you and your walls were stubbornly resisting the painful stretch of him. “Let me in,” he whispered, dark and hot against your neck, “let me in doll, I’ll make it all better.” You couldn’t relax, you were upside down and every muscle in your body like concrete but his shaft shoved harder, higher up inside you. His gaze was fixed on the joining between you and him, watching that pink part of you swell, turning shiny and red. And he gleefully narrated it all as you hung helplessly over the railing. You were terrified. Unfortunately, appallingly, you were also wildly turned on. “There we go,” he gloated, “all the way in, sweetheart, your pussy gripping me like a fist. Like wet silk. Like…” he pulled out slowly to the tip of him just barely nestled inside, then slammed back in, accompanied by your shriek. Then your world tilted again as he lifted you up against him, chest pressed tightly to his and his hands gripped on to the soft globes of your ass, squeezing ruthlessly as he hauled you up and down on his cock, balancing you easily on his thick thighs and enjoying the look of shock on your face. There were little electrical shocks as the hot tip of him shoved against your cervix each time as he bottomed out inside you. “Such a good girl, taking all of me like that. Squeezing the life out of my dick, huh?” His shirt was rough against your nipples and they were painfully peaked after he’d bitten and sucked them. </p><p>Your feverish focus was narrowed down to only sensations, the feel of him inside- so hot, Steve was, especially his cock, almost scalding and so wide- you never got used to that part, the feeling of the bite and sting along with the stroking of him inside you. How he knew what angle would make you clench your thighs tighter, which one would make you scream in surprise, and then come. Which you did. And then you passed out.</p><p>The feeling of his cock resting inside you, the throb of his heartbeat radiating from the thick meat of him and against your walls woke you again. You were on the big bed in the master, dress gone and hair loose, Steve naked as well. The moonlight over his broad shoulders made your heart clench. So magnificent. And nuts. He was humming, listening to Ella Fitzgerald coming from the speakers, slowly rotating his hips. “There you are,” he smiled down at you, “back again. I’ve never seen you come so hard, doll.” You were humiliated. You could feel your slick squelch between your stomach and his, your thighs wet with it, his balls almost dripping. </p><p>“I’m sorry, oh that’s so-”</p><p>“Shhh,” he murmured into your hairline, where he was pressing kisses, “there’s nothing hotter than feeling you gush on me. Now it’s my turn. You’ve been such a sweet little cockwarmer.” Steve’s lean hips began moving again as he drew your arms over your head, fingers linked as he stared down at you, a smile playing his red lips as he enjoyed your expression of helpless arousal. “Does that feel good,” he urged, giving you a particularly hard thrust, “do you like having me split you apart, doll?”</p><p>“Oh, she enjoys it.”</p><p>With a shriek and a stiffening of your muscles that locked Steve in mid-trust with a moan, you looked over to see Bucky slouched comfortably in a chair by the window, his slate-blue eyes fixed on the two of you.</p><p>“Steve! Steve,” you gasped, “what is he- why is he HERE?”</p><p>Taking advantage of your distraction, the blond lunatic inside began moving again. “He’s here for us, sweetheart,” he soothed, “Bucky’s part of us. You’re gonna need him as much as you do me. Now show him how pretty you are when you come.”</p><p>You wanted to say no, you wanted to refuse and show Steve he couldn’t control you, but when he licked his thumb and strummed it across your swollen clitoris, your back arched and you came with a scream.</p><p>“Beautiful…” breathed Bucky.</p><p>Head thrown back as he spurted inside you, Steve groaned. “Our best girl.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So... this pitiful thing was supposed to be a one-shot for Sherrybaby14's prompt challenge. And, here we are, on chapter four. So I had an idea for a longer story, too much stuff and time-travel and weirdness for this last chapter. What are your thoughts? I can continue the story, or wrap it up here. Thoughts? Thank you as always for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Waterfall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Steve and Bucky introduce you to the island. Sex, more sex, and more questions.</p><p>But mostly sex.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>18+ as always, please! Heed the tags and remember this is Dark Steve and Dark Bucky.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to have to open your eyes some time.”</p><p>You kept them squeezed tight, your back to an amused Bucky, who was lounging on the rumpled bed. “No, I don’t. Go away.”</p><p>“Can’t, doll.” You could hear that he was drinking the mango juice (“Freshly squeezed for my best girl.”) that Steve had left for you on the bedside table. “I told the punk I’d keep you company.”</p><p>You tried putting one of the decadent, fluffy pillows over your head and Bucky briskly pulled it away, tossing it across the room. “What do you want from me!” you snarled, scooting backward across the bed and wedging yourself against the wall, holding your last pillow tightly.</p><p>Bucky eyed your pitiful, feather-filled defense. His eyes were a glimmering cobalt when they raised to meet yours. “I want you to like me. The way you like Steve.”</p><p>“I don’t- “ you cut yourself off in a hurry. You were Steve’s best girl, right? Right up to the minute Fury found you and sank this bullshit island or you figured a way off yourself. “You sat there and watched us, Bucky! That’s violating and gross! Not to mention stalking me and nearly choking me out in bed!”</p><p>“That was nec-”</p><p>“Don’t say that was necessary again! It’s not necessary to do what you did” You didn’t know why you were sassing back to this lunatic. You were also not sure why he was just sitting there, watching you. “And besides, I’m- I’m with Steve and that’s it. There’s no liking you like <em>that.</em> I’m not like … you know … <em>that.”</em></p><p>Bucky chose to make it all worse by bursting into laughter. “Oh, doll. You <em> are </em> like <em> that, </em>” he emphasized mockingly. “You may be a good girl, and I know you didn’t sleep with anyone else while Steve was gone. But you are-” he put both hands on the bed and moved forward, long hair falling into his eyes but not making that state of his any less mesmerizing, “a bad, bad girl too. Hearing you come last night?” He groaned, one hand going down to stroke the very obvious bulge in his jeans, “That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve heard since they defrosted me.”</p><p>The humiliation of the night before - where even knowing this gigantic and handsome asshole was watching couldn’t stop your orgasm made you flush angrily and pull back. “Is Steve going to force me to fuck you?” You wanted it to sound as harsh as possible. Lay it out in the light and make them see how ugly it was.</p><p>He had the nerve to look wounded. Injured by your words? The gall! “No, of course not. I’m no rapist.” Bucky drew his tongue slowly across his lower lip and leaned in. “You’ll want me. You’ll ask for me, squeezed all warm and cozy between me and Steve.” Eyeing your appalled expression, he burst into laughter. “You don’t think so, huh? You’ll change your mind.” He leaned closer, his thumb brushing lightly over your slack lips.</p><p>Examining him, you tried to figure out how anyone so heart-stoppingly beautiful could be such a complete lunatic. This guy stalked you for six months! And he’s sitting here, eyes a warm blue like the ocean outside and the pleasantly raspy surface of his thumb actually felt good on-</p><p>Wait. fuck this! Backpedaling awkwardly across the bed, you tried to keep the sheet covering your legs. “No. No, Bucky! How can you not see - you know what? Never mind. I’m getting dressed.” You could feel him watching you as you limped into the bathroom because let’s face it: as many times as Steve had ravished you the night before? It’s lucky you were still walking.</p><p>You were combing your wet hair and feeling every muscle in your body pull painfully when you heard the bedroom door open. There was a low conversation and a self-satisfied masculine chuckle that made you want to hit them both with a brick in the head. You gave a sigh, tightening your robe. Not that it would do anything to those titanium thick skulls anyway.</p><p>Edging over to the door, you heard, “Is she warming up to you yet, punk?”</p><p>You furiously gritted your teeth. Steve. That<em> asshole!</em> He thought he was going to <em>share</em> you?</p><p>“Not yet,” Bucky admitted, not sound in the slightest discouraged by this.</p><p>“Honey?” Steve’s voice was louder and slightly amused, as if he knew you’d been trying to eavesdrop. </p><p>Sullenly opening the door, you forced yourself to smile at him. “Yes, sweethear-”</p><p>He had your face in his giant hands and was kissing you passionately before you even got the sentence out. “You look beautiful, doll. Good morning.”</p><p>Your knee actually ached with the need to drive it right up into his considerable package and send his balls somewhere in the vicinity of his kidneys, but you held steady. “Uh, thanks. I was … looking for some clothes?” You were painfully aware that Bucky was still lounging on the bed, drinking <em>your</em> mango juice.</p><p>Steve’s eyes cooled, a silvery-ice blue that in the old, happy times would have meant you’d have been in bed for the next 48 hours. Now, with your exhausted center throbbing it was the most alarming possible thing to witness. His hands smoothed down over your hips, leaning in to breathe into your ear. “I’d rather keep you bare for me. No clothes so I could take you anytime I wanted.”</p><p>The noise out of your mouth was humiliatingly high-pitched and not 100% distressed.</p><p>There was a choked-off chuckle from the direction of the bed.</p><p>Sighing, Steve drew back. “But since you asked so sweetly…” He walked over to a panel in the wall and pushed his thumb into a small depression. The panel slid open smoothly and you raised an eyebrow. More high-tech shit. This had to be a good sign, this had to mean wifi and a way out of Hell Honeymoon. He handed you an unreasonably skimpy bikini. “I thought you’d like to go for a swim? Explore the island?”</p><p>Steve was so beautiful, still. Even now that you hated his guts and he was crazy. Leaning against the wall and clad only in board shorts, his beautifully chiseled chest on display and of course, already the beginnings of a golden tan. He was smiling at you gently, not taking his eyes from you as he called, “Bucky? Can you go find the sunscreen?”</p><p>There was an amused snort as the other man left the room, eye slyly tilted over his shoulder to wink at you as he left. “Okay, I’ll just…” You were edging toward the bathroom when Steve pulled on the tie of your robe.</p><p>“Right here is great, doll.”</p><p> </p><p>The island was spectacular, you had to admit. Half Moon Key’s white beaches stretched magnificently as far as you could see in either direction. You were still a little shaken by Steve’s unrelenting perusal when you tried to get dressed as quickly as you could. He’d still managed to get you up against the wall and wrapped your leg around his waist before a whimper escaped you. His head drew back, and he had the nerve to look caring and concerned. “Aw, baby. Are you sore? I’ll take care of you.”</p><p>“That’s how this happened,” you blurted, which was a mistake because Steve rubbed up against you while he mauled your neck until the sunscreen bottle went sailing across the room and nailed him right in the shoulder.</p><p>It made you love Bucky. For a full 3.5 seconds.</p><p>So walking along the waterline, Steve holding one of your hands and Bucky the other, you concentrated on the feel of the warm sand between your toes to keep from screaming and yanking your hands away from them. “Over there is a waterfall, the pond’s just deep enough for swimming, you’ll love it, and then about a mile west is-”</p><p>You stopped, interrupting Steve’s tour guide monologue. “Wait - what’s…” Cocking your head, you tried to hear? Feel? Something… There was a low-grade buzzing. Something that made the fillings in your teeth ache. Your spine felt like it was vibrating. Turning in a circle, you tried to figure out what was happening to you, so you missed the look the two men shared. “What is … doing … this?” Your lips felt clumsy.</p><p>Steve swooped you up in his arms, laughing heartily. “I think you met Half Moon Key’s resident spirit,” he said, waggling his eyebrows meaningfully. “There’s a crazy kind of spot here on the island that gives off a vibration. Something to do with the minerals in the bedrock?” He bounced you once, making you squeal as his long legs swiftly took you away from the spot. Bucky stayed where he was, hands on his hips, and staring into the trees.</p><p> </p><p>“You can put me down now.”</p><p>Steve chuckled indulgently, his huge pectorals pushing against your side. “I can’t have my best girl hurting her feet, now can I?”</p><p>You bit back the retort that if he’d given you sandals, he wouldn’t have to worry about that. You were certain the omission was intentional. “How long have you had this island, uh, sweetheart?”</p><p>Stepping over a thorny-looking bush, Steve said, “About a month. Right after I bought the mountain cabin to keep Fury busy.” </p><p>He laughed, and all you wanted to do was stab him. “Don’t you have to go on missions? What about Bucky?”</p><p>Leaning in to kiss you, Steve looked so sweet. Until you stared at his fixed smile. “Don’t worry baby, we won’t leave you alone. You’ll always be safe.” Just a few strides more from his impossibly long legs, and you were standing at the flat rocks that surrounded the waterfall he’d promised. It was only about twelve feet high, but the glittering water spilled musically over the rocks and into the pond, it must have been very deep, the water a navy, murky blue. He hopped confidently from stone to stone, enjoying the way you gasped and gripped his neck tighter until he drew next to the waterfall. He grinned down at you. “Hold on, doll.” You gasped as the water sheeted over you but closed your mouth before you managed to drown yourself. He’d carried you just behind the waterfall and turned. “Look.”</p><p>The world outside the waterfall was crystalline, the colors separated vividly into the azure of the sky, the black of the rocks and emerald of the foliage. The water muted and there was an odd stillness. Wiggling your legs, you finally convinced Steve to let you down. “This is … god, this is incredible,” you marveled, “it’s like a separate part of … I dunno, like it’s own little chunk of reality.” The cavern you stood in had a ceiling coated with glittering blue stone that looked like the sky. “Are those sapphires?” you gasped, craning your head to examine them. Steve laughed, seating himself on a huge, smooth chunk of rock as if it was his throne. Looking around, you found groupings of elaborately shaped moss and ferns, a gleaming, dark green that seemed to have a touch of phosphorescence, glowing softly through the cave. Taking a step in deeper, you looked at the pitch-black tunnel at the end of the structure. “Where does that go?”</p><p>When he didn’t answer, you turned around. Steve was staring at the darkness, jaw set and a terrifyingly blank look in his eyes. When he turned to stare at you, it wasn’t certain what he saw, but you doubted it was you. “Steve?”</p><p>Then he blinked and it was gone. “Aw, doll. What did I tell you to call me?” He was prowling after you now, head down and eyes set on you. Backing away, you stumbled a little. </p><p>“C- call you?” You could feel the spray of the water against your back now, the sound of the waterfall building. Then you shrieked as he seized you, wrapping those massive arms around you.</p><p>“Call me sweetheart,” he growled, and jumped right off the goddamn ledge and into the water, your scream fading as the splash covered it.</p><p>Spluttering as you broke the surface, you paddled angrily to the edge, leaning on a rock extended out over the water. “What the hell? You - that scared the hell out of me!”</p><p>Laughing in that infuriating male way, Steve easily caught up and caged you between his arms, his heated chest pressed against you. Then his mouth was on your neck, teeth biting just enough to silence you, his beard prickling along the thin skin and your breath hitched. Clever fingers were already pulling the string loose from your top and his huge, warm hand was cupping one of your chilly breasts, thumb stroking along a nipple already peaked from shock and cold. </p><p>“So beautiful, doll…” he crooned, “so perfect. I was an idiot.” When you stiffened and tried to move away, his arms tightened almost painfully. Steve bit into your shoulder, not breaking skin but his warning was clear. As his teeth fastened carefully around your nipple, his tongue lashed it back and forth, a silent chuckle moving his massive chest when you groaned. His other hand pulled away your swimsuit bottoms and you watched helplessly as they sank before your thighs tightened painfully against his arm, two long fingers sliding up inside you. “I can still feel where I was today,” Steve gloated in your ear, his crisp speech slurred just a little, voice rougher. “You’re still wet from me, you’re swollen. You have the silkiest cunt, do you know that, doll?” He ran his tongue along the shell of your ear before biting down. “You wrap around my dick so tight, just like you were made for me. And you were, weren’t you? Just for me.”</p><p>If your brain was functioning at even 25% of capacity, you might have had a smartass comeback, so perhaps it was best that all you could manage was, “Um … oh, that’s so…” Those long, knowing fingers were stroking diligently along your passage, moving in circles against all those spots he’d found in you so long ago. Steve then had been so very good, so determined to learn all the ways that made you shriek, or gasp, or moan, and best of all, the places that would make you come. And his fingers played along every one of them until you’d come twice, back arched, thighs rigid along his muscled forearm and nails dug unknowingly into his shoulders. Sliding his palms under your ass, Steve gripped them tightly for a moment with a pleased hum before lifting you up, and down his cock, groaning as you stiffened and halted him halfway in.</p><p>“Open up, doll,” he whispered into your ear, “be a good girl and spread wide for me. I’m going to fuck you in half.” </p><p>It was the strangest sensation, your thoughts were a little blurred, but the feel of the warmth of the water, the cool tinge of the air and then the hot, throbbing weight of the man inside you. His cock was solid, so thick that it burned a little every time. You used to relish that pull and stretch, but now your body automatically tried to pull away from it. But this stranger with your former beloved’s face growled and purred like a panther, urging you to relax against his invasion and allow him deeper. And the heat of everything inside you and around you loosened your muscles against your best efforts and his shaft slid home.</p><p>“Ah! It’s too much, I … oh, god, Steve…” you weren’t sure if you were begging him to stop or keep going, but he chose the latter, moving inside you softly, rubbing the hairy base of his cock against your swollen little clit, rotating his hips to press against it harder as your legs tightened again. The water cushioned you both, making his harsh movements feel softer somehow and the thrusts that grew harder still felt more pleasurable than you wanted them to.</p><p>His hands were still squeezing and massaging your ass and you tightened against him again when you felt his index finger circle your anus. “Shhh,” Steve admonished, “everything on my girl belongs to me, doesn’t it?”</p><p>“N - not there, we never -” You were trying to protest while climbing this gigantic, gorgeous lunatic like a tree, trying to avoid that intrusive finger. Your heels dug into the firm muscles of his ass when the roughened tip of it pushed through your pucker. </p><p>“Just a little this time,” Steve said, kissing your shoulder. “But some day soon…” He groaned, his thrusting speeding up and his finger inside you making you tighter as you clenched against it. “Loosen up, doll, you’re going to rip my dick off!”</p><p>Spitefully, you wished it was possible, but that thought was gone again when he abruptly turned and pressed your back into the chilly rock behind you, bracing you as his cock began slamming harder and harder inside you until he lifted you, pulling you higher until just the tip of him remained inside you. And then dropped you, relishing in your shocked, wide eyes and the startled scream that heralded your orgasm and then his.</p><p>You huddled against him until you stopped shaking and pulled back a little. “I don’t have anything to wear back,” you said in a small voice. Maybe not the most profound thing you could offer, but the only thing you could manage to say.</p><p>A truly diabolical grin spread across his face and you groaned internally. “That’s okay. I’ll carry you back.” To your deep embarrassment, Steve kicked off his shorts and walked out of the pool, still carrying you hoisted on his cock, which insisted on remaining hard all the way back to the house. Which meant you had to stop a couple of times as he leaned against a tree as you both came again. And again.</p><p> </p><p>You had a bad dream that night, a very bad dream. You’d fallen asleep with Steve still inside you, his cock still impossibly hard after three rounds. In the dream you were retracing the path you’d taken that morning, on Steve’s tour. Your teeth were aching - an agony like an abscessed molar. Putting one hand to your cheek, you looked at the faint blue glow beyond the black of the palm trees and dense foliage. ‘Don’t go there,’ you whispered to your unconscious self, ‘don’t go in. Don’t do it.’ Proving that you ignored every slasher movie you’d ever seen, you plunged into the bushes anyway. Each step felt acutely painful, like glass being ground into your feet but you couldn’t stop. Every organ in your body felt like it was ready to burst through your skin, and you still walked. The glow changed to a searing sapphire as you cleared the last tree and you saw the cube. It pulsed with unspeakable energies and your hindbrain moaned at you to go away get away goawaygetaway…</p><p>Suddenly you were sitting on Steve’s lap and Bucky was holding the cube in his titanium hand. He looked up at you, his smile unspeakable in the glow. “Told you we came a long, long way to be with you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Swimming with the Sharks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which our girl takes a swim.</p><p>Warnings for threats of harm and robust oral sex.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no business showing my face after leaving this story for six months. I have no excuse other than one, simple phrase. </p><p>2020.</p><p>Sorry, I'll be better, I swear. I never leave a story unfinished.  Also! This chapter is part of Imanuglywombat's Tumblr "Is that even a sex position?" Challenge. This one's called Special Breakfast. For anyone still reading this nonsense, thank you so much.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>From the truly spectacular @toozmanykids </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The torpedo-shaped shadow was under you now, and you were sobbing silently, forcing yourself to hold still. “N- no abrupt movements…” it was the barest whisper from your shaking mouth. “Be still, no thrashing, it’ll-” your chest heaved in a convulsive sob and you froze again, terrified. Oh, fuck. There was another one. They had to be what? At least six feet? One rose in the crystal-clear water close enough to see the blank, black oasis of its eye. “Please, please, please,” you wept softly, “please, please. Not like this.”</em>
</p><p>It had seemed like the perfect plan four hours ago. You were great with plans, with strategy.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> That morning... </em>
</p><p>You’d bolted upright, heart pounding and looking around frantically. “What-? I’m awake. I’m awake, right? But before I was asleep? With the blue glowing thing?” You were whispering but the two supersoldiers currently bookending you were already sitting up.</p><p>“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Steve was stroking your back. Bucky was leaning against the headboard, knee drawn up, and resting his titanium arm on it. You stared at him as he stared back, his eyes the same greyish-blue as in the dream.</p><p>“Was that a dream, Bucky?” you hissed, ignoring Steve’s attempts to soothe you, his stroking hand paused as you spoke. You remembered it all in vivid, terrifying clarity. How it felt to be compelled back into that cave, the blue glow that seemed to sear your bones, like frostbite.</p><p>Bucky ran his hand through his long, tangled hair. “Aw, doll. Did you have a nightmare?”</p><p>You glared at him, ready to retort when you realized you were naked. Not surprising, you’d fallen asleep with Steve’s cock still inside you. Still hard after three rounds that you still felt all through your lower half. But, so were they. Naked.</p><p>Seizing the sheet and dragging it up your torso, you tried to edge away from Bucky, but that pressed you against Steve’s broad chest. With an alarmed squawk, you pulled away from him, but it put you within kissing distance of the smirking brunette who’d been stalking you for six months. “What is<em> he </em>doing in bed with us?” you demanded, edging up against the foot of the bed. The <em>he </em>in question was grinning, those goddamned even white teeth flashing brightly against his bearded chin.</p><p>“You weren’t complaining when you snuggled your ass against my crotch this morning,” Bucky retorted. </p><p>Furious, your gaze went to Steve, narrowing as he was smiling as smugly as his best friend. “Well, you were, sweetheart,” he agreed, “but I’m not mad.” He reached one muscled arm to you, stroking your cheek, “You know I want you and Buck to-” You yanked your face away from him, trying to scramble off the bed. Why the thing was so goddamned gigantic was beginning to make sense. “Whoa!” Steve seized your ankle, “You’re about to flop backward and onto your head, honey. What’s got you so riled up?”</p><p>“I’m waking up with your buddy nestled into me. The one who stalked me for six months while you were playing house with your old girlfriend! And that blue thing, that-” you were slowing down as both expressions turned to stone, but apparently not soon enough. “-The glowing blue thing! Where did it come from? Why did you say you came a long, long-”</p><p>You were on your back on the floor with Steve’s hand on your neck before you could finish the sentence. “What. Are. You. Talking about?” He was more terrifying for speaking calmly, even though his eyes were on fire. Your hands were gripping his wrist and any words of defense were currently clogging up your throat. Your (formerly) sweet boyfriend’s cornflower blue eyes were nearly black, narrowed and his lush mouth gone thin and tight. Your mouth opened and closed like a goldfish's.</p><p>“Hey, hey, brother. Let her up.” Bucky’s big paw was on Steve’s shoulder, pulling on him. “You’re going to hurt her. Let go, man.”</p><p>His hand released your neck and you scrabbled backward, crab-like. Pointing one finger, Steve snarled, “Get dressed.” Half-dragging Bucky out the door, you heard them speaking angrily in the kitchen.</p><p>Carefully standing up, you took a moment to make sure you weren’t going to flop over.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“What did you<em> tell </em> her, Bucky!” Steve was speaking between gritted teeth and you could picture the muscle twitching in his jaw as he did it. </p><p>There was a thud, one of them pushing the other against the wall. “She said it was a dream, remember? Is she tapping into us somehow?” There was another thud and something clattered to the floor, “Maybe your bonding techniques are a little too effective.” Bucky still sounded amused.</p><p>Something else shattered against the tile in the kitchen and you slapped your hand over your mouth, stifling a startled shriek. Tiptoeing down the hall, you felt your nerves spark when the white door that was always kept locked was cracked, open just enough to see a desk and some plants and… <em>a computer.</em> Slithering in quickly and setting the door back in the same position, you scampered over the sleek desktop, fingers stroking the keys and trying to find a way on to the internet. You were still trying to guess passwords that Steve would use when you noticed the blinking green square in the lower right corner of the screen. Clicking on it made your eyes light up with an unholy joy. It was a boat. A remote-controlled boat. Anchored just off the point west of the cottage and near a thick grove of palms where you wouldn’t be spotted. Listening to the voices rising in the kitchen, you prayed for enough time. Just a few seconds and you’d-</p><p>“Where the hell is she? Sweetheart!” Steve’s tone did not indicate that he thought you were deserving of that endearment at all, and as you heard the footsteps heading down the hall, you slid under the desk, eyes closed childishly in a game of, 'If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.' You heard a brief curse as the door opened, and his voice was alarmingly close. “Buck? Is she in the bedroom?” The was a muffled reply and then the sharp 'click!' of the door being closed and locked.</p><p>Knowing you had mere seconds to get the hell out of the room, you clicked the button on the screen and pelted for the door, opening and closing it again before racing down the hall. The doors to the stone terrace were spread wide and you just had to get out into the sun before your lunatic, beautiful captors made it around the corner again.</p><p>“What are you doing out here?” His voice was angry, but you could hear a tinge of relief in Steve’s resonant tone as well.</p><p>Looking up from your book, you squinted at him, covering your eyes from the sun. “Uh, reading? That didn’t seem like a conversation I wanted to be involved in.”</p><p>His blue eyes softened a bit and he settled on the chaise lounge with you, moving your legs onto his lap. “I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. I shouldn’t have scared you like that.” Absently running his calloused fingers up your calf, Steve squinted as he gazed out over the surf. “I want you to love Bucky, too. Even if the punk opens his big mouth sometimes and lets the wrong thing fall out.”</p><p>Putting your finger on the page to save your place, you shut the book and watched this gigantic man’s expression of remorse. “You scared me,” you said quietly. “You could have hurt me really badly. You know that.”</p><p>For a moment, he wasn’t Steve Rogers, Captain America and the arrogant fucking asshole who knew best and kidnapped you right out of your life. His beautiful face was slack, eyes confused. “I know,” he admitted slowly. “I’ve forgotten what being … gentle was like. There’s no room for that in-” he cut off abruptly and you felt like screaming in frustration. He’d been so close. <em> So goddamn close </em>to actually telling you something about how he’d become this terrifying stranger. “Anyway, it’s time for breakfast.”</p><p>“Um, would it be all right if I just stayed out here for a little while?” you pleaded, “It’s so warm. I’ve missed being warm after living in DC.” </p><p>His expression softened slightly, and Steve patted your leg. “All right. I’ll call you when the food is ready.” Leaning in close, the heat off of his skin hit you like a blast furnace. A memory of curling up against him as tightly as you could during a cold-ass night in Brooklyn hit you with technicolor intensity. “Give me a kiss, sweetheart.” He chuckled and damn this beautiful, diabolical bastard you could feel that laugh of his shoot straight to your center. </p><p>“Fine,” you said sulkily, but Steve laughed and put his lush mouth against yours, stroking your lips with his tongue and playing with you for a moment. When you let out that first, shameful whimper, he grinned and pulled back.</p><p>You froze in position, listening for his footsteps to head back down the hall, waiting to hear him speak with Bucky again. When you heard their low chuckle, you exploded out of the chair and down the terrace, moving as quickly and quietly as you could. There was a boat waiting for you, just out of sight of the house and by god, your ass was going to be on it before Steve walked back out.</p><p>But of course, those no-good sons of bitches bastard faces super soldiers were always just a little too alert.</p><p>To your credit, you were several hundred yards away from the shoreline by the time they came tearing around the point of the cove, riding two wildly overpowered wave runners. “Oh, hell NO!” you hissed, pushing the throttle down. You’d wasted several precious minutes figuring out how to switch the boat from remote-controlled to manual. But it was a lot like the one your father had kept on Lake Michigan for years and you figured it out.</p><p>Just a bit too late, because when the wave runners got close enough you watched Steve point a remote and click it and the engine stopped with a smooth hum. Stopped. Dead in the water, which was pretty much what you were expecting to be in a minute. His face was expressionless, jaw tight but oh, those blue eyes were alight like the fires of hell. But you weren't going to cry and beg. Steve vaulted over the side of the boat in seconds and while you were expecting him to get in your face, shouting and all scary, he didn't. Instead, he picked you up like you were lighter than a life preserver and threw you into the water.</p><p>Surfacing with a splutter, you wiped away the saltwater stinging your eyes and paddled away from the boat. “Trying to drown me, <em> baby?” </em>you asked spitefully.</p><p>“Steve…” Bucky warned, voice low and a little angry, “c’mon. She was doing what we would do in the same situation. Don’t be a dick.”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up, Bucky.” Your ex-boyfriend’s usually resonant voice was toneless. Hard. “Let her learn her lesson.”</p><p>Spitting out a mouthful of seawater in his direction, you turned to breaststroke back to shore.</p><p>“Careful, <em> sweetheart,” </em> Steve called, “you don’t want to thrash around too much and agitate the sharks.”</p><p>You froze instantly, bobbing lightly in the water. Fuck. Oh, <em> god. </em> The sharks. You’d seen the sharks, the beach house has a spectacular view of the little lagoon just below it, and you’d seen their shadowy forms dart and glide around schools of fish or the coral reef. You were shaking in an instant, teeth chattering in terror. It was stupid. It was so stupid but you’d seen Jaws as a child and it terrified you so much that you couldn’t even get into a <em>swimming pool</em> for over a year. A choked moan broke from you as you saw the first flash of silver below you, the predators drawn by the churning of the boat’s engine. And you.</p><p>The torpedo-shaped shadow was under you now, and you were sobbing silently, forcing yourself to hold still. “N- no abrupt movements…” it was the barest whisper from your shaking mouth. “Be still, no thrashing, it’ll-” your chest heaved in a convulsive sob and you froze again, terrified. Oh, fuck. There was another one. They had to be what? At least six feet? One rose in the crystal-clear water close enough to see the blank, black oasis of its eye. “Please, please, please,” you wept softly, “please, please. Not like this.” You felt a bump against your thigh, feeling like maybe you’d knocked into a chair, perhaps. And looking down you saw a trickle of pink waft through the water and realized it was from you. “Sh- sharks,” you babbled, “their skin is like sandpaper and they bump their prey sometimes to see if they’re food oh god I’m food I’m food oh-” Your terrified ramblings were cut off abruptly as two hands slid under your arms and yanked you from the water, the wave runner zipping to the boat and with two quick moves you were on board and being wrapped like a terrified human burrito. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the water, and when a fin broke the surface briefly, a scream tore from you, full-throated. </p><p>“Shhh, shhh doll, I got you.” It was Bucky with his arms around you, not Steve and you stopped struggling, sagging against him, trying to heave in enough oxygen to breathe again. You were dimly aware of their low, angry voices and the boat lurched abruptly as Steve left it, taking a wave runner back to shore.</p><p>“S- so you’re g- good cop today, huh?” Your teeth were chattering as Bucky kept layering towels around you, finally placing you on his lap, holding you close. Even though you stubbornly kept your face turned from his, that endless radiating heat from his supersoldier’s body finally loosened your shaking muscles.</p><p>His hands moved up and down your arms soothingly. “It’s okay, doll. Take some deep breaths. I got you.” His voice was kind, and even though you fucking hated both of them so much, it was the kindness that got you in the end, and you leaned against his chest, letting Bucky rock you gently. “I’m sorry. Steve was just so angry … he thought he’d won you over.”</p><p>You laughed bitterly, “What, seriously? Locking someone in a white room for over two weeks for sensory deprivation and then starving them? That’s not winning someone over! That’s torture.” Looking up, you could see Bucky’s expression. It was shock.</p><p>“Doll…” he started and you began writhing angrily, trying to get off his lap.</p><p>“Don’t even!” you spat, “Don’t you dare act all shocked and upset. You were stalking me way before Captain America got back in the picture. You just- you both- fuck! I hate you! I fucking hate your guts and his guts and…” You began sobbing, to your eternal shame and fury. Bucky wisely said nothing, just settling the towels around you more securely and keeping you on his lap.</p><p>The sounds of the waves against the side of the boat and the occasional cry of a sea bird finally took the place of your crying and you stilled, angrily wiping your eyes. You sat together for a long time, the sun heading higher in the sky, but Bucky’s arms never moved from their position around you. “I didn’t know he was starving you,” he said finally, tone flat. </p><p>You chuckled humorlessly. “Oh, it was good. He’d bring in some lavish breakfast every morning and ask if I loved him. I existed on water for a while before he turned off the tap in the bathroom."</p><p>Bucky shook his head. “You are the most stubborn woman on the planet. No wonder Steve fell for you so hard.” </p><p>“Yeah, what a beautiful love story,” you snarled, “leaving me for Peggy until he decided it wasn’t as much fun as he remembered.”</p><p>You were getting sweaty, so Bucky unwrapped you from your towel burrito. “The Snap made us hard, doll. Darker than you can understand. I’ve had some time to … I don’t know, soften a little I guess, since I came back.” He burst into laughter at the incredulity on your face. “Following you for six months-”</p><p>“Stalking!” you interrupted.</p><p>“I was keeping you safe for Steve,” he said, still chuckling a bit. But Bucky sobered as he said, “I fell for you too. How stubborn you are. And you’re brave. But I was the monster who pushed you right into Steve’s arms, huh? That was my job.”</p><p>Brow furrowed, you stared at him, trying to understand this good-looking lunatic. Bucky’s expression was a perplexing mix of sincere and regretful. “Steve is not who you remember, I know that,” he continued, “and the punk has to pull his head out of his ass and realize this isn’t how you win back the woman you love.”</p><p>“This isn’t love!” you began squirming again, “This is captivity, Bucky. And you know it.” His arms tightened, but only slightly. It was still enough to make you pause briefly and stare as his biceps widened so beautifully. <em> Damn… </em>Mentally slapping yourself on the back of your own head, you tried to concentrate. “The way you two behave, it’s like you’re from somewhere else where this shit is acceptable, logical even.” Bucky stilled, but you didn’t notice. You were on a roll and damn, but it was refreshing being able to speak your mind for the first time since Steve plunged that needle into your neck. “I know being the Avengers puts you above the law, but Steve - and everything he said about you - was always about honor and doing the right thing. Especially after you got away from Hydra, and-”</p><p>“You do not know the things we’ve had to do.” Bucky’s voice was raspy, almost monotone. “You do not know. You don’t know what it does to a man. But it doesn’t mean we can’t love.”</p><p>Pausing with your mouth still open, you stared at him, his eyes gone a blank silver-blue. You would never know the true horror of what James Buchanan Barnes survived, and you didn’t want to. Steve - your Steve, the old Steve, couldn’t describe much in detail before breaking down. Taking Bucky’s metal hand in yours, you sighed. “Why couldn’t you have been like this back when Steve left me? Instead of being all scary and stalkerish?”</p><p>He actually pondered this. “I didn’t know how,” Bucky finally admitted. Then, his devilish smile returned, the one that made him look like a pirate. A really hot pirate. "But let me show you now."</p><p>
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</p><p>In a moment your world seemed to tilt sideways and then upside down. You were looking up into the blazing, searingly perfect azure sky with elbows planted on the railing bordering the bow of the boat and your wet shorts and undies pulled down your legs and thrown somewhere behind Bucky’s shoulder. “Just like this, doll,” he murmured, strong hands moving your knees apart and then sliding under your ass, squeezing gently before lifting you to his mouth, seated in front of you in the captain’s chair like he was about to have lunch.</p><p>“Hey Bucky, hey- hey, you- <em> Oh, god…”  </em></p><p>His fucking mouth… You had always been mildly attracted and intrigued by Bucky’s thick, sensuous lips. How he smiled with the slightest, most carnal little smirk. How he’d absently lick them while thinking. But goddamn you had no idea what this treacherous bastard was capable of when he launched the formidable assault of lips, tongue and teeth against your bare and defenseless pussy. Licking a broad stripe up the middle of the slim furrow between your legs, Bucky gave a very deep and satisfying groan. “So perfect, doll. So fucking perfect.” He dove in again, his stubbled chin digging gleefully into the opening of your passage and itching in the most filthy, delightfully carnal way. You were balancing on your elbows, body straight and held aloft by his hands gripping your soft cheeks and holding your pussy against his mouth as you squealed and tried to move away from the intensity of his lips fastening around your clit and suckling, groaning again. The sound vibrated from his throat through your suddenly oversensitive center and right up your spine. The sheer intensity of it made your thighs clamp against his cheeks and you could feel his grin against the thin skin there. “God, I just wanna be inside you,” he groaned. “My mouth. My fingers. My cock.” As if to prove his point, he easily balanced you on one hand while sliding a metal finger inside you. It was cool, and the gentle chill of it against your wildly overheated girl parts was incredible. </p><p>There was another muffled chuckle and you looked down to see his face was nearly buried between your legs. “Oh, god I’m sorry!” you gasped, trying to loosen the vice-like grip your inner thighs had on Bucky’s head, but he briskly shook his head and growled, like a dog worrying at a beloved toy. That, along with another frosty finger slipping inside you as his plush lips settled around your clit again sent you off, back arching, head flopping backward and looking vaguely at the waves upside down as you came. The swirling heat of his tongue against your cunt prolonged your orgasm to an almost unreasonable length until you push your feet weakly against the back of the captain’s chair.</p><p>Finally coming up for air, Bucky gleefully made a show of wiping his mouth, lips and chin still glistening with your slick. “I knew you’d taste that way. Like raspberries, warm off the stem.”</p><p>“Poetic, Buck…” you wheezed, “that’s…” Your attempt at coherent speech cut off abruptly as he pressed his vibranium fingers hard against an especially sensitive spot on their way out of you. Collapsing ungracefully back on the padded bench, you felt him gently wipe you with one of the towels and wrap another one around your waist.</p><p>“Let’s go home, doll.” As Bucky started the boat and turned toward Sunset Key in a large, graceful loop, he kept an arm around you.</p><p>There was so much you wanted to say, beginning with, “That is not home!” But you decided to keep your thoughts to yourself. At least until you could think coherently again.</p><p>
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